• AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, Places, The Baby Years


    “Home…home on the range. Where the pigs and the creepy goats play…”

    Ever had an unexpected surprise that turned something potentially ho-hum into something ho-ly crap, this is pretty cool? Like when they originally announced Big Brother was returning, but instead of Gretel Killeen hosting, it will be Sonia Kruger. Or when Matt Smith was first announced as the 11th Doctor Who. Or when M&M’s announced they were adding peanuts to their candy?

    Well, the same thing happened when Mumma announced she was taking Granny, Indy and myself to…The Collingwood Children’s Farm.

    In my head, I had imagined a small petting zoo. A few corrals with straw, some guinea pigs, rabbits and something exotic thrown in. Maybe a man-eating tarantula…like, Paris Hilton? I mean, it’s Collingwood for crying out loud (ie: inner-city suburbia), what do you expect to fit inside a 1×1 bedroom apartment on top of a fish’n’chip shop? But when we arrived, I had to check we hadn’t just blown in off a tornado because what we saw there definitely had a, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas no more”, kind of vibe to it.

    We’d definitely crossed over to an alternate Land of Oz. Wide sprawling meadows filled with cows and sheep and horses, oh my! The yellow brick road was more horse sh*t road, but this place was amazing. I grew up in the country so I’m very familiar with the rural lifestyle but I never expected to find a full-on farm right in the middle of Melbourne! And it truly is quite huge. With a vast array of the fattest weirdest chickens you’ve ever seen (if you’ve ever seen Liberace strut on stage in a mink coat, you’re somewhere in the ball park). Some in enclosures, the rest free-ranging it around your local picnic tables. Some weird crazy-eyed goats that looked like Steve Buscemi with floppy ears. Cows, horses, ducks, geese, peacocks (I knew there’d be something exotic in the mix), and Indy’s favourite…

    Pigs. (The un-Peppa’d variety)

    And he was so excited, not only was he snorting his little pig noises, but he kept trying to squirm out of my arms to get into the pig pen with them. That was until we got down to ground level with them and he saw they were the size of a Fortwo Cabriolet Smart Car. Coupled with the fact we then saw one crunch a pumpkin in half the size of Indy’s head, suddenly the one step forward two steps back approach seemed somewhat in order.

    And oh yes, they did have guinea pigs 😉

    A great day out for the family, you can feel and touch the animals. You can certainly jump out of your skin and cry like a 1yr old when the baby lamb suddenly bleets quite loudly a mere few inches from your face. Or stroll through the vegetable plots and market gardens if you have a penchant for produce or a fetish for flora.

    On the way out, we popped into the Old Convent Bakery for lunch. And guess how many Brides of Christ we saw…

    Nun…(sorry) 😛

    What other unexpected cool hangouts for kids and families have you stumbled across?

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2 Responses to Sub-Urban Cowboy

  • Mandy wrote on August 12, 2013 at 7:26 // Reply

    We headed along on Saturday actually, it’s quite amazing isn’t it. We were fortunate enough to catch the farmers market too.

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on August 12, 2013 at 7:58 // Reply

      It was a little bit like walking into Doctor Who’s Tardis, it just seemed to go on and on and on. I was really surprised at the size of the place. I kept saying to Mumma, “I can’t believe we’re in Collingwood”. Pretty surreal.

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