SHAPESHIFTER

  • AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions, Thoughts, Tips

    2 Comments

    I feel just like Carol-Anne in Poltergeist, sitting in front of the tv…

    “They’re here…”

    Week 14 and…”Baby got back!” (It also has arms, legs, fingers, toes, etc).

    Thankfully, my family has arrived safe and sound and we’re all back together again. Now I get to bare my claws and stand over them both, like a defensive tiger fends for it’s cubs, “Heeeeeeeche!”

    It was a little weird at first, to be back in each other’s arms after 4 weeks. I felt like a teenager on prom night…all goofy and nervous (and wondering what my date looks like naked?)

    And I also discovered that at Week 14, my wife has developed some rather unique talents…

    My wife has become…

    …a Shapeshifter (cool) 🙂

    There is a sizeable firm “bump” in her midsection, which just makes things that much more real (eek…hooray…eek), and I’ll have to get her a t-shirt that reads…

    Objects in this t-shirt may appear larger in real-life!

    Huminah-huminah!

    There is one thing to point out to other prospective Dad’s, shapeshifting does not just confine itself to the physical, shapeshifters transform their body as well as their…mental state.

    So, she may look like your wife, she may sound like your wife…and at the first onset of change, first check for bite marks on the body and a FULL MOON out the window, failing that…you can blame it all on those dreaded hormones. (Drops to knees, shakes fist in the air…)

    Damn you, hormones!!!

    Will they never give up? Those damn hormones are up and down more often than a Ron Jeremy video. And if you don’t know who Ron Jeremy is…(well, that’s probably best for all of us).

    So, Week 14 is a week of pluses and returns

    Pluses: Baby bumps and huminah-huminah’s

    Returns: Hormones and the sicks (will they never end?)

    The sooner she can hold down every meal, the better for all of us.

    Love is still the key. Love her, support her and love her some more.

    Popcorn at 3 in the morning…also does the trick.

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COMMENTS

2 Responses to Shapeshifter

  • Jasmine wrote on December 30, 2011 at 12:47 // Reply

    This is called conditioning

  • JPBechtold wrote on July 8, 2012 at 10:59 // Reply

    But I only ever shampooed, and I never once “rinse and repeated”?

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