The 40YrOldDad

February 2

PERCEPTIONS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Thoughts
No Comments

2
FEB

Amazing how my perceptions have changed.

Driving my love to work this morning, a news report on the radio reported a young woman was sexually assaulted in the street this morning.

I turned to my incubator and said…

“Who does that? That’s somebody’s daughter!”

And I teared up a little last week when I watched a TV show where a father was fighting to save his son and…

…I got it!

Even though our schnitzel/elle is still in the oven, I finally get that connection between parents and their kids.

Ahhh…what’s happening to me???
February 1

1ST THINGS 1ST

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Thoughts
2 Comments

1
FEB

It’s been a week of firsts for me.

1st visit to the Maternity Clinic.

Starting reading my 1st book on parenting.

Our 1st visit to the Baby Train, an enormous Baby Superstore. That’s a place where new expectant dad’s can lie down unexpectedly on the floor, while the overwhelming world of baby products and their prices, swoons all around you.

I had no idea just how much things cost, it’s like…

Wow! It’s how much?…Does a robot come with that?

We’re making a baby, not building the Six Million Dollar Man! (more…)
February 1

SCHNITZEL OR SCHNITZELLE?

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Ultrasound
1 Comment

1
FEB

Week 19 and we are one week away from knowing whether or not we have a schnitzel or a schnitzelle cooking in the oven.

It’s really exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. I don’t know whether to jump for joy or pee my pants. Probably best not to do both, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of that behaviour once the oven timer “dings”.

We visited the Maternity Clinic this week. I’ve never seen so many pregnant women in one place! My lovely angel whispered in my ear…

“You okay? I know how excited you get around pregnant women!”

Damn, and I’d left my apron at home as well.

I was totally surrounded. I felt like the odd man out at The Biggest Loser auditions. Still, it’s kind of comforting to know this “pregnancy” thing, seems to happen all the time, so it feels like we’re in good hands.

The Midwives seem extremely lovely and supportive, our Doctor on the other hand (still lovely and supportive), but very “old school”, in that, she pulled the curtain across in front of me in the examination room so I couldn’t “see the show”. I felt like a dirty perve listening outside the shower curtain, made worse by the fact I was breathing heavily and rubbing my hands together. (Well, I did have to run out to move the car before my parking expired). (more…)
January 22

TO DO OR NOT TO DO…

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Tips
1 Comment

22
JAN

That is the question…

I’m addressing the real nitty-gritty this week. The ONE question that is on every new dad’s mind during pregnancy…

And according to our Balinese gynaecologist, it’s…

“Tidak apa-apa”…No problem 🙂

BUT…

He did say that there is a chemical in semen, which can actually soften the uterus wall. And seeing as you don’t want to take any risks or complications that may cause anything to go wrong…

You have to go…“outside”

Wow, seriously? Whatever will the neighbours think? I’m a nature lover at heart, but I don’t want ticks or bugs crawling into any holes they shouldn’t be crawling into.

My lovely lady whispers in my ear… (more…)
January 11

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Body Functions
1 Comment

11
JAN

Our little tenant turns Sweet 16...(Weeks, that is), which means we have plenty of things to celebrate.

There’s an old saying, “It’s hard to keep a good man down”, well, in my beautiful lady’s case, the same can be said for food.

But thankfully, at this stage in the game…

The “sicks” have finally left the building…

Which means, my lovely lady can finally enjoy…

“Food, glorious food!”

There’s nothing so satisfying or brings a tear to the eye more than the enjoyment of watching your loved one crawl into the belly of a wild boar…and eat her way out. Oh, the joy! To finally order and finish a pizza with the lot…chairs, tables…everything. To see the waiter cringe nervously and patrons run screaming for their lives at the “all-you-can-eat buffet”. Makes a man feel proud 🙂 (more…)
January 1

THE ORAL APPROACH

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, In the Womb, Tips
No Comments

1
JAN

Week 15 – Holy cow!

Officially moves us into the…

2nd trimester and a brand new year…2012!

At this point, our little tenant is the size of an avocado. Hopefully without the green bumpy skin (I’ve seen “V”…so no lizard baby, please).

All kinds of things are happening.

Fingernails and toenails are starting to grow, as well as being able to make facial movements, as well as the inner ear bones are starting to harden. Which means, soon I’ll be able to tell if it can hear my jokes and judge their quality by the look on it’s face. Maybe we could install a sunroof in mama’s belly so we can peep straight in. Hmm, better not. In case I get the urge to install an eight-track player to go with it…and that’s just all kinds of uncomfortable.

Eyebrows are starting to form and most amazingly, our tiny baby can do something even I can’t do…

(more…)
December 29

SHAPESHIFTER

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions, Thoughts, Tips
2 Comments

29
DEC

I feel just like Carol-Anne in Poltergeist, sitting in front of the tv…

“They’re here…”

Week 14 and…”Baby got back!” (It also has arms, legs, fingers, toes, etc).

Thankfully, my family has arrived safe and sound and we’re all back together again. Now I get to bare my claws and stand over them both, like a defensive tiger fends for it’s cubs, “Heeeeeeeche!”

It was a little weird at first, to be back in each other’s arms after 4 weeks. I felt like a teenager on prom night…all goofy and nervous (and wondering what my date looks like naked?)

And I also discovered that at Week 14, my wife has developed some rather unique talents…

My wife has become…

…a Shapeshifter (cool) 🙂 (more…)
December 23

BOOMERANGS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Thoughts
No Comments

23
DEC

It feels like ages since we saw each other in the flesh (that’s how it all started in the first place), but now I am one eager day away from having my family back in my loving arms…(and in our empty villa, for that matter).

The rules of engagement surrounding our Skype chats have been adhered to, so I have no idea if she’s showing and/or how much.

It’s like waiting to unwrap a Christmas present!

…but I probably shouldn’t shake and rattle it first?

It feels kind of weird, like it’s not really happening. Probably because there’s literally an ocean between us, and only a thin membrane between them. I feel slightly detached from the whole experience. Almost like a Clayton’s Dad.

But I am so super excited at having them back, so I can actually feel like I’m a part of it.

(Seems only fair, after all…it is also a part of me). (more…)
December 13

ANNND….SAFE!!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Ultrasound
2 Comments

13
DEC

It feels like my batter just slid into home plate!

(Wow, that didn’t even remotely, sound quite right???)

What I mean is, we’ve just scored a touchdown, at the elusive 12 Week mark!

(Another mixed sporting metaphor?)

My point is…

“We made it!!!”

(Or rather…our little “tenant” made it)

All the tests confirm (at least, at this point), that there is indeed, a healthy teeny-tiny Adventurer Extraordinaire, in our mids.

(Me-lady’s “mids” to be precise).

Well, it’s not hard to see this baby was conceived in Bali…how relaxed is that?? Kickin’ back, relaxing, catching some rays…Waiter, my mocktail please (non-alcoholic, of course). (more…)
December 6

CIRCLE OF LIFE

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions, In the Womb
No Comments

6
DEC

So, we’re one week off the elusive 12 week mark, sitting pretty at Week 11.

The bad news for the little lady…she “stars” again in her own dreadful sequel of…

Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sicks!

She at least had one week of reprieve from driving the white porcelain bus, but no escape for her I’m afraid. Like Al Pacino in the Godfather Part III…

“Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.”

But that can only mean…things are still on track!

And knowing what’s happening in Inner Space, it’s no wonder she’s feeling sick. At 11 weeks, our baby starts drinking the amniotic fluid and it’s kidneys start to work, filtering it into the bladder which empties itself back out into the amniotic fluid, and thus…the circle of life continues. (more…)