The 40YrOldDad

July 5

BABY GOT BABY BACK RIBS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, The Baby Years
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5
JUL

Never since The Beatles touched down at Dubbo airport, has there been such a rock star reception for our little, Indy Wayan. And the Balinese people have welcomed him with open arms and much tapping of cheeks, (tapping of Indy’s face cheeks, not tapping their own butt cheeks, that would be just weird).

The first couple days, there was lots of sleeping and adjusting to the heat. But since then, most of our time has been spent in the pool, walking the beach and eating. And boy, can our boy put it away!!

And to think we were having issues with him eating at home. And it’s not just the quantity of food he’s eating, it’s the variety.

Watermelon, papaya, pisang (banana), mangosteen, chicken, mushroom and cheese omelet, mashed potato, banana pancakes, and it doesn’t stop there… (more…)
June 30

THE NEW ‘MILE-HIGH’ CLUB

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years
3 Comments

30
JUN

Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird, is it a plane…

In case you weren’t aware, our son was originally conceived in Bali. You can read about it here. The video tape is available for download, as soon as I can work out how to get the tape back out of our old VCR. I’ve tried jemmying it out with an old bread-knife but it just won’t budge, maybe you just have to imagine it…wait…screw that! (That’s not helping, either. Move along, nothing to see here). So, now our boy is about to turn the big…ONE…we thought it only fair he gets to see Bali…from the outside.

Our three hour wait at the airport turned into five hours, once we learned that we had a plane ready for boarding, but no crew to fly the damn thing. True. Either there’s a shortage of pilots graduating from flying school, they slept in, were drunk at the bar (or heaven forbid), they got in the wrong airplane and after realising their error, jumped out at 20,000 feet. Or they saw a couple guys with moustaches and said, “Hey, what size shirt do you take? Do you like epaulettes?” At any rate, the airline gave us food vouchers and Indy entertained and charmed the irritated passengers with his show-off shenanigans in the Gate Lounge before we were finally underway. (Where on earth does he learn such behaviour?)

Around the 30 minute mark, the fear and terror gripped me… (more…)
June 23

NOT THE DROIDS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years
1 Comment

23
JUN

Gender Equality has been an issue as far back as there has been…um, well…gender…(I imagine?). And no topic of gender equality has been more current than the topic of Stay-at-home-dads. Enter The 100% Project. A group of inspiring people with a vision to see 100% of Australia’s leadership talent, female and male, equally contributing to our social and economic future.

This month, I have been fortunate enough to contribute an article to The 100% Project’s quarterly publication, Beyond The Spin, where I was invited along with a series of other male writers, to contribute their ideas and observations on the topics of leadership, parenthood and gender roles.

The following article is my contribution to The 100% Project’s June publication of Beyond The Spin… (more…)
June 13

OCD OR NOCD? THAT IS THE QUESTION…

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, The Baby Years, Thoughts
17 Comments

13
JUN

As I was tidying up my son’s blocks, making sure that I had accounted for every last piece and aligned them accordingly into the designated receptacle so that, no two pieces of the same colour were grouped together in a way that would distract the eye, I had a realisation…

‘Is this genetic?’ Or is my OCD a product of my environmental upbringing?

Okay, I’m not that bad…really. There’s nothing wrong with keeping my half of the closet, neatly organised is there? It’s not so unusual to match up pairs of socks, fold up all my clothes, distribute them into neatly organised piles on each shelf, sorted into different categories such as t-shirts, jeans, shorts and fold up my underwear into tucked up bundles…(wait, did he just say ‘fold up his underwear?’).

And just because the shirts, jackets and hoodies hanging in my cupboard are grouped and organised according to length of sleeve and type of material, and that every coat hanger must point in the same direction and certain hangers allocated to particular shirts and jackets…doesn’t make it OCD, it’s just…‘tidiness’.

And just because my usual morning breakfast routine consists of setting out plates, bowls and cups in a designated order and preparing and eating everything in an ordered and systematic approach…doesn’t make it OCD, it’s just…‘efficiency’.

And just because I understand that if I heat the oven first, then peel the potatoes and boil them for approximately (See: ‘exactly’), 20 minutes, I can whack the garlic bread in for 16 minutes, cut up the carrot and zap it for 60 secs before throwing the zucchini in there for another 70 secs so the softness is consistent (but not til the garlic bread has 5 mins to go), and start on the schnitzel at the 10 minute mark, in order to get everything cooked and ready all at the exact same time…that’s not OCD, that’s just… ‘timing to perfection’. (more…)
June 5

YOU HAD ME AT…BLRRRP!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: D-scoveries, Events, Thoughts
3 Comments

5
JUN

Wow, here we are at our 100th post and I felt it only deserving that we look back on just how we got here in the first place. For those of you reading this, it was probably through your internet browser, email or mobile device… but that’s not what I’m getting at. Every fairy tale romance has a great origin story, and this is ours…

It started…with a ‘fart’.

Okay, let’s back up a little. I answered an advert for a short film that was being shot the following weekend that for some reason, I had an unexplained overwhelming urge to be involved in. I called the director and the non-speaking role of the boyfriend had not yet been cast. We agreed to meet at her place to audition.

We met the next day and I got the part, I was also informed that the woman playing my girlfriend was also supposed to meet us, but was running late. I couldn’t stay, I literally had a train to catch and as I got to the end of the driveway, she suddenly arrived. Our initial meeting was as brief as Borat’s mankini, with her thinking, “Yeah, he’s cute but much too young for me”, (completely unaware that I was almost a year older than her, thanks to good genes and a regular Oil of Ulan regime), and my thoughts on her…

“Cool, at least she’s not ugly.”

The weekend saw myself booking into a Ranger’s Station at Wilson’s Prom amid a ragtag student film crew, when I suddenly spied a familiar face leaning against the back wall. I sidled up to her and nonchalantly cracked, “Hi, I think I’m your boyfriend?” A come-on line served with so much cheese, you could eat it off a biscuit. I took the rolling of her eyes as a term of endearment, lest my pride be hurt.

Prepping film gear and settling into our cabins, she generously made me a cup of tea and offered an insight into her own cheeky behaviour by stating, ‘You know what my dad used to do to me?” And seared the inside of my forearm, like a cowboy branding cattle, with the back of the scolding hot teaspoon from her cup! So shocked and surprised was I by her sudden and unexpected assault, that I unexpectedly retaliated by sheer reflex, in such a way that was just as equally as surprising and unexpected… (more…)
June 2

MY SEED HAS SPRUNG!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years
4 Comments

2
JUN

Wa-ho-ho-nilly! Dang…back in April I got all up in my backyard’s face (Spreading My Seed), and like the paparazzi, I was digging through whatever dirt I could get my hands on. Weeks of tending and nurturing have finally paid off as all that dirt has suddenly sprung up into a luxurious green lawn.

And how excited was Indy to explore his newfound sprawling jungle? He was so excited, he started pulling out chunks of grass by the handfuls…

“Noooo!!!”

Like a slow motion action hero, I sprang to my new baby’s rescue, (not my actual baby-baby, my new lawn-baby). Scooping Indy in my arms and pitch’n’rolling him to safety. Grinning broadly with his scraggly green victory spoils clenched tight between his tiny fingers. (more…)
May 28

A SNUFFLEUPAGUS IN KID’S CLOTHING

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, The Baby Years, Thoughts
6 Comments

28
MAY

So, I’m preparing lunch in the kitchen and from out of nowhere, I hear Indy calling out from behind the couch on his playmat, pointing to a picture of a mother duck and her ducklings and going, “Gwark, gwark, gwark,” (his equivalent of ‘quack, quack, quack’). I’m totally gobsmacked. Repeatedly, over and over again, “Gwark, gwark, gwark…gwark, gwark, gwark.” So, I fire back at him, “Gwark, gwark, gwark”, and he echoes back at me, “Gwark, gwark, gwark”.

Our first official conversation, even if it was in Gwark. That is until…I pick up the video camera to film it. Then it’s like it never happened. Like Robert DeNiro in the end of Awakenings, he slips back into his non-communicative state. The same glazed over look you see when someone describes the concept of Celebrity Splash or when journalists ask Tony Abbott anything about politics. Why is it only me that sees these things?

It’s like Sesame Street when I was a kid and Big Bird had an imaginary friend that nobody else could see, his shaggy elephant buddy, Mr Snuffleupagus. The thing about ‘Snuffy’ was that he actually was real but was always gone before anyone else could see him. And that’s how I feel. I’m Big Bird and whenever I try to show someone something cool that Indy does, he pulls a ‘Snuffy’, and I’m left hangin’ like I’m making it all up.
(more…)
May 21

THAR SHE BLOWS!!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events
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21
MAY

Hello Everyone,

Well, it took a bit longer than expected (although Indy was 11 days overdue, so I shouldn’t really be at all surprised), but I am happy to announce that our new site has just gone ‘live’.

You can now find us here at www.40YrOldDad.com.

But don’t worry if you go back to our old wordpress.com site, you’ll find your way right back here at our new home.

While our email subscribers will continue to receive email notifications of new posts as before, (no problemo, amigos), WordPress.com followers will only see new posts in the WordPress Reader.

But for our WordPress.com followers who do wish to continue to receive email updates of new posts, be sure to pop by the new site and subscribe with your email address in the ‘Subscribe’ box or enter your email address into the ‘Subscribe’ box here:

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

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Big thanks to tech-extraordinaire, Alanna from Web Babble, for helping us launch the new site.

We sure hope you like it.

— Join us…join us…join us… 🙂

On the move to 40yrolddad.com
May 4

LEAVE MY CROTCH ALONE

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Events, Thoughts
24 Comments

4
MAY

With Mother’s Day looming just around the corner, I was reflecting on my own experiences growing up with my mother (and when you sit in the sun in a tin foil hat and mirrorball sequinned jacket, you can do nothing else but, reflect). And whilst extinguishing the dying embers of a smouldering grass fire in my backyard (should have picked a slightly less sunny day for reflection), a couple of incidents come to mind, like…remember the time I wore that mirrorball jacket and burned down the backyard…

Or…

Remember last week when I was trying on jeans in the change rooms and the sexy young sales assistant half my age, snuck in and grabbed me on the crotch?

Okay, you got me. That didn’t really happen. Well…it did, but it didn’t. I mean, it did actually happen, just not like that…exactly. Imagine the same scenario except…flip the ages around and substitute the sales assistant for…you guessed it…MY MOTHER! Probably the most embarrassing thing a mother could ever do to their son…

Take him shopping…for jeans.

(more…)
April 13

WORLD’S GREATEST DAD?…WORLD’S BIGGEST HEEL

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Dad Mishaps, Thoughts
8 Comments

13
APR

It was a day I hoped would never come.

I’ve prided myself on being the cool calm collected one.

A dad so cool, the sun needs a sweater when it shines on me!

The dad who flows like water, who bends in the wind, goes with the flow and smells like teenspirit. (Wait…is that a cologne? I have no idea).

The kind of dad who exists only in family sitcoms. Loves his family, does crazy and outlandish things, quick with the funny remarks, dishes out sage worldly advice and never…ever…EVER…raises his voice in anger.

The kind of dad where Zen is my friend and karma is my confidanteė…

So, what went wrong? (more…)