The 40YrOldDad

September 23

THUFFERING THUCOTASH

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Dad Mishaps, The Baby Years, Tips
2 Comments

23
SEP

‘Thith morning’ I had to wonder if our boy was 14 months old or 14 years old, as he displayed an uncharacteristic rebellious streak most often reserved for teenagers than toddlers. The type of rebelliousness that incorporates chains, tattoos and heavy metal rock bands. Spikey hair, Doc Martin boots and Alice Cooper makeup. Leather pants, torn jeans and mono-syllabic grunts with obscene hand gestures.

But for our boy, his rebellious weapon of choice…

‘Body Piercings’, in his case specifically…

HIS TONGUE.

And like most rebellious youths, rather than have a professional perform the gruesome task under strict sterilised conditions in a clean controlled environment, our Billy Idol wannabe opted for the ‘home job’ by piercing his own tongue (not with a sterilised needle), but with his very own…

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September 16

TOLD OFF

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, The Baby Years
6 Comments

16
SEP

If there’s one thing I’ve come to understand in the 14 months I’ve been a Dad, is that toddlers know way more than I ever thought they did. And although he’s not yet conversive in the English language, there is a universal language devoid of any words that my 14 month old son is completely fluent in…

Body Language.

Now although he has difficulty controlling his own movements, when it comes to observing and interpreting the movements of other people, he doesn’t miss a trick. And it taught me a very valuable lesson…it’s not what you say or even how you say it that counts, it’s whether or not he can see you when you’re saying it. (more…)
August 21

DAD JOKES GIVEAWAY ENDS MIDNIGHT!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Events, Giveaways
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21
AUG

A quick reminder that The Very Best Dad Jokes eBook giveaway by fellow Daddy Blogger, Torkona E…

Ends at Midnight tonight!!

Just in time for Father’s Day.

So jump on over to The Very Best Dad Joke Giveaway Page NOW, and enter for your chance to win!

Go…do it…go! 😉
August 17

THIS IS HUGE!!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years
8 Comments

17
AUG

Holy cow, we hit a HUGE milestone today…
And as a clue, here’s some funky lyrics to help shed some light on the matter…

Step One – We can have lots of fun
Step Two – There’s so much we can do
Step Three – It’s just you for me
Step Four – I can give you more
Step Five – Don’t you know that the time has arrived

Can you guess the song, the band and the hair styles?

If you can, one of two things just happened.

You squealed like a girl…or you groaned like a man. (Both sounds are equally as interchangeable between both sexes. Some men have been known to squeal like a girl when they hear this band and are instantly transported back to 1990…not naming any names) 😉

This can only mean one thing… (more…)
August 14

ONLY JOKING DAD

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Events, Giveaways
8 Comments

14
AUG

If you’ve ever been a dad, had a dad or know somebody with a dad then you know that no matter what size, shape or condition that ‘dad’ is in, they all have one thing in common…

Kids! (Hence the grand exulted title, ‘DAD’)

Another thing they have in common is the uncanny compulsive ability to tell really bad or lame ‘Dad Jokes’. (see above) 😉

And with Father’s Day fast approaching, there’s sure to be a resounding mass ‘groan’ around the dinner table as Dad’s all over will be quoting from some of the best (or should that be ‘worst’), jokes compiled for your enjoyment from fellow Daddy Blogger, Torkona E.

The Very Best Dad Jokes Book is a great collection of groan-worthy and chortling Dad jokes out there, accompanied by colourful gigglesome illustrations that will appeal to both kids and child-like Dads, alike.

Great jokes such as: (more…)
August 9

SUB-URBAN COWBOY

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, Places, The Baby Years
2 Comments

9
AUG

“Home…home on the range. Where the pigs and the creepy goats play…”

Ever had an unexpected surprise that turned something potentially ho-hum into something ho-ly crap, this is pretty cool? Like when they originally announced Big Brother was returning, but instead of Gretel Killeen hosting, it will be Sonia Kruger. Or when Matt Smith was first announced as the 11th Doctor Who. Or when M&M’s announced they were adding peanuts to their candy?

Well, the same thing happened when Mumma announced she was taking Granny, Indy and myself to…The Collingwood Children’s Farm.

In my head, I had imagined a small petting zoo. A few corrals with straw, some guinea pigs, rabbits and something exotic thrown in. Maybe a man-eating tarantula…like, Paris Hilton? I mean, it’s Collingwood for crying out loud (ie: inner-city suburbia), what do you expect to fit inside a 1×1 bedroom apartment on top of a fish’n’chip shop? But when we arrived, I had to check we hadn’t just blown in off a tornado because what we saw there definitely had a, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas no more”, kind of vibe to it. (more…)
August 7

PIZZA MASTERCLASS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Events, Food, Sponsored Posts, The Baby Years, Tips
2 Comments

7
AUG

Now that we’ve moved into the solid food stage, besides ducking hurtling produce projectiles and chiseling 3 day old pumpkin out of the carpet, occasionally some food actually finds its way into Indy’s mouth.

And now that he has half a dozen teeth in there (that’s five more than the average Collingwood supporter), sources tell us he can pretty much start eating whatever we eat. And as long as he’s not eating my chocolate (punishable by death), we owe it to him to make sure that everything that goes in there is a healthy option.

Hence, I was invited to participate in the Blogconnect Pizza Masterclass put on by the good folks @KeepLeftPR and sponsored by Bakers Delight, Leggo’s, Perfect Italiano, Woolworths and Dan Murphy’s. Hold the phone…Pizza a healthy option? It sure can be, and I can’t believe how much I didn’t know about making a pizza…‘perfect’.
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July 25

COCK-BLOCKER!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, The Baby Years, Thoughts
4 Comments

25
JUL

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, a “cock-blocker” is somebody or something that interferes with a man’s intention and ability to get to ‘home plate’ with the respective object of his desire. In other words, prevents you from…gittin’ sum.

And when you have a one year old child in your midst, then you know the last year has been a little lean in that regard. Suffice to say, ‘uninterrupted alone-time together’ is as rare as hen’s teeth, (or complimentary reviews about Lara Bingle.)

And this past week has been a stark reminder that if calculations are off, even NASA can’t get the Space Shuttle safely through the re-entry window without an explosive shower of fire and debris. I’m no astronaut and it shouldn’t be rocket science to figure it out. It’s all about ‘timing’, so as a comedian, I should have that in spades. (more…)
July 28

IRONINGMAN

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Gadgets, Sponsored Posts, The Baby Years, Thoughts
No Comments

28
JUL

Remember the time I revealed my super secret super-duper OCD powers? Well, like Tony Stark from The Avengers, IRONMAN (or should that be, IRONING MAN?), was put through his paces this week when I had the opportunity to test out the latest in the range of revolutionary steam generators (or whiz-bang, tricked-out steam irons), in the form of the Philips PerfectCare Aqua. And trust me, my OCD superpowers were definitely put to the test.

Right off the bat when I opened the box, I was reminded of what Mumma thought first time she ever saw me naked…this thing was HUGE. But, pot-bellies aside…it was so big, Indy informed us he was moving out of home and into the cardboard box it came in…because he needed the extra room!

But when I had it all setup and ready to go, the iron itself is quite small and light, but it’s the huge water tank it’s attached to that makes up the bulk of the unit. It kind of resembles a space helmet like the one that Ed Harris wears filled with liquid oxygen in The Abyss. It’s more like an aquarium than a water tank. I’m not saying it’s big, but Indy did keep looking for Nemo.

I really do ‘loves me some technology’. Which is probably why our house glows after dark and our pyjamas resemble radiation suits. So, the space-agey look appeals greatly to me but…the revolutionary OptimalTemp technology, scares the bajeezuz out of my OCD. See, the thing about this steam iron is…it has NO SETTINGS. (more…)
July 16

BALI BRUDDAHS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Events, The Baby Years
2 Comments

16
JUL

Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Seinfeld and Costanza, some of the greatest enduring friendships in history, and thanks to our recent trip to Bali, we can now add…Indy and Angga to that list.

A ‘bro-mance’ made in ~~heaven~~ Bali. From the very instant these boys met, they were Bali Bruddahs for life! I guess both lads being conceived in Bali has grounded in them a spiritual connection to this beautiful island and ultimately, to each other.

Vegas doesn’t light up as much in each other’s company as these two boys. Right from the get go, there was laughing, smiling and much excited hand flapping between them. And language was no barrier to their symbiotic order of play and merriment either. Angga speaks both Indonesian and English while Indy has only mastered ‘Indyspeak’, yet they both seemed to communicate on a level of coordination rarely seen on So You Think You Can Dance.

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