The Baby Years Archives - Page 5 of 11 - The 40YrOldDad The 40YrOldDad

August 9

SUB-URBAN COWBOY

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, Places, The Baby Years
2 Comments

9
AUG

“Home…home on the range. Where the pigs and the creepy goats play…”

Ever had an unexpected surprise that turned something potentially ho-hum into something ho-ly crap, this is pretty cool? Like when they originally announced Big Brother was returning, but instead of Gretel Killeen hosting, it will be Sonia Kruger. Or when Matt Smith was first announced as the 11th Doctor Who. Or when M&M’s announced they were adding peanuts to their candy?

Well, the same thing happened when Mumma announced she was taking Granny, Indy and myself to…The Collingwood Children’s Farm.

In my head, I had imagined a small petting zoo. A few corrals with straw, some guinea pigs, rabbits and something exotic thrown in. Maybe a man-eating tarantula…like, Paris Hilton? I mean, it’s Collingwood for crying out loud (ie: inner-city suburbia), what do you expect to fit inside a 1×1 bedroom apartment on top of a fish’n’chip shop? But when we arrived, I had to check we hadn’t just blown in off a tornado because what we saw there definitely had a, “I don’t think we’re in Kansas no more”, kind of vibe to it. (more…)
August 7

PIZZA MASTERCLASS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Events, Food, Sponsored Posts, The Baby Years, Tips
2 Comments

7
AUG

Now that we’ve moved into the solid food stage, besides ducking hurtling produce projectiles and chiseling 3 day old pumpkin out of the carpet, occasionally some food actually finds its way into Indy’s mouth.

And now that he has half a dozen teeth in there (that’s five more than the average Collingwood supporter), sources tell us he can pretty much start eating whatever we eat. And as long as he’s not eating my chocolate (punishable by death), we owe it to him to make sure that everything that goes in there is a healthy option.

Hence, I was invited to participate in the Blogconnect Pizza Masterclass put on by the good folks @KeepLeftPR and sponsored by Bakers Delight, Leggo’s, Perfect Italiano, Woolworths and Dan Murphy’s. Hold the phone…Pizza a healthy option? It sure can be, and I can’t believe how much I didn’t know about making a pizza…‘perfect’.
(more…)
July 28

IRONINGMAN

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Gadgets, Sponsored Posts, The Baby Years, Thoughts
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28
JUL

Remember the time I revealed my super secret super-duper OCD powers? Well, like Tony Stark from The Avengers, IRONMAN (or should that be, IRONING MAN?), was put through his paces this week when I had the opportunity to test out the latest in the range of revolutionary steam generators (or whiz-bang, tricked-out steam irons), in the form of the Philips PerfectCare Aqua. And trust me, my OCD superpowers were definitely put to the test.

Right off the bat when I opened the box, I was reminded of what Mumma thought first time she ever saw me naked…this thing was HUGE. But, pot-bellies aside…it was so big, Indy informed us he was moving out of home and into the cardboard box it came in…because he needed the extra room!

But when I had it all setup and ready to go, the iron itself is quite small and light, but it’s the huge water tank it’s attached to that makes up the bulk of the unit. It kind of resembles a space helmet like the one that Ed Harris wears filled with liquid oxygen in The Abyss. It’s more like an aquarium than a water tank. I’m not saying it’s big, but Indy did keep looking for Nemo.

I really do ‘loves me some technology’. Which is probably why our house glows after dark and our pyjamas resemble radiation suits. So, the space-agey look appeals greatly to me but…the revolutionary OptimalTemp technology, scares the bajeezuz out of my OCD. See, the thing about this steam iron is…it has NO SETTINGS. (more…)
July 25

COCK-BLOCKER!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, The Baby Years, Thoughts
4 Comments

25
JUL

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, a “cock-blocker” is somebody or something that interferes with a man’s intention and ability to get to ‘home plate’ with the respective object of his desire. In other words, prevents you from…gittin’ sum.

And when you have a one year old child in your midst, then you know the last year has been a little lean in that regard. Suffice to say, ‘uninterrupted alone-time together’ is as rare as hen’s teeth, (or complimentary reviews about Lara Bingle.)

And this past week has been a stark reminder that if calculations are off, even NASA can’t get the Space Shuttle safely through the re-entry window without an explosive shower of fire and debris. I’m no astronaut and it shouldn’t be rocket science to figure it out. It’s all about ‘timing’, so as a comedian, I should have that in spades. (more…)
July 16

BALI BRUDDAHS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Events, The Baby Years
2 Comments

16
JUL

Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Seinfeld and Costanza, some of the greatest enduring friendships in history, and thanks to our recent trip to Bali, we can now add…Indy and Angga to that list.

A ‘bro-mance’ made in ~~heaven~~ Bali. From the very instant these boys met, they were Bali Bruddahs for life! I guess both lads being conceived in Bali has grounded in them a spiritual connection to this beautiful island and ultimately, to each other.

Vegas doesn’t light up as much in each other’s company as these two boys. Right from the get go, there was laughing, smiling and much excited hand flapping between them. And language was no barrier to their symbiotic order of play and merriment either. Angga speaks both Indonesian and English while Indy has only mastered ‘Indyspeak’, yet they both seemed to communicate on a level of coordination rarely seen on So You Think You Can Dance.

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July 5

BABY GOT BABY BACK RIBS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, The Baby Years
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5
JUL

Never since The Beatles touched down at Dubbo airport, has there been such a rock star reception for our little, Indy Wayan. And the Balinese people have welcomed him with open arms and much tapping of cheeks, (tapping of Indy’s face cheeks, not tapping their own butt cheeks, that would be just weird).

The first couple days, there was lots of sleeping and adjusting to the heat. But since then, most of our time has been spent in the pool, walking the beach and eating. And boy, can our boy put it away!!

And to think we were having issues with him eating at home. And it’s not just the quantity of food he’s eating, it’s the variety.

Watermelon, papaya, pisang (banana), mangosteen, chicken, mushroom and cheese omelet, mashed potato, banana pancakes, and it doesn’t stop there… (more…)
June 30

THE NEW ‘MILE-HIGH’ CLUB

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years
3 Comments

30
JUN

Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird, is it a plane…

In case you weren’t aware, our son was originally conceived in Bali. You can read about it here. The video tape is available for download, as soon as I can work out how to get the tape back out of our old VCR. I’ve tried jemmying it out with an old bread-knife but it just won’t budge, maybe you just have to imagine it…wait…screw that! (That’s not helping, either. Move along, nothing to see here). So, now our boy is about to turn the big…ONE…we thought it only fair he gets to see Bali…from the outside.

Our three hour wait at the airport turned into five hours, once we learned that we had a plane ready for boarding, but no crew to fly the damn thing. True. Either there’s a shortage of pilots graduating from flying school, they slept in, were drunk at the bar (or heaven forbid), they got in the wrong airplane and after realising their error, jumped out at 20,000 feet. Or they saw a couple guys with moustaches and said, “Hey, what size shirt do you take? Do you like epaulettes?” At any rate, the airline gave us food vouchers and Indy entertained and charmed the irritated passengers with his show-off shenanigans in the Gate Lounge before we were finally underway. (Where on earth does he learn such behaviour?)

Around the 30 minute mark, the fear and terror gripped me… (more…)
June 23

NOT THE DROIDS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years
1 Comment

23
JUN

Gender Equality has been an issue as far back as there has been…um, well…gender…(I imagine?). And no topic of gender equality has been more current than the topic of Stay-at-home-dads. Enter The 100% Project. A group of inspiring people with a vision to see 100% of Australia’s leadership talent, female and male, equally contributing to our social and economic future.

This month, I have been fortunate enough to contribute an article to The 100% Project’s quarterly publication, Beyond The Spin, where I was invited along with a series of other male writers, to contribute their ideas and observations on the topics of leadership, parenthood and gender roles.

The following article is my contribution to The 100% Project’s June publication of Beyond The Spin… (more…)
June 13

OCD OR NOCD? THAT IS THE QUESTION…

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, The Baby Years, Thoughts
17 Comments

13
JUN

As I was tidying up my son’s blocks, making sure that I had accounted for every last piece and aligned them accordingly into the designated receptacle so that, no two pieces of the same colour were grouped together in a way that would distract the eye, I had a realisation…

‘Is this genetic?’ Or is my OCD a product of my environmental upbringing?

Okay, I’m not that bad…really. There’s nothing wrong with keeping my half of the closet, neatly organised is there? It’s not so unusual to match up pairs of socks, fold up all my clothes, distribute them into neatly organised piles on each shelf, sorted into different categories such as t-shirts, jeans, shorts and fold up my underwear into tucked up bundles…(wait, did he just say ‘fold up his underwear?’).

And just because the shirts, jackets and hoodies hanging in my cupboard are grouped and organised according to length of sleeve and type of material, and that every coat hanger must point in the same direction and certain hangers allocated to particular shirts and jackets…doesn’t make it OCD, it’s just…‘tidiness’.

And just because my usual morning breakfast routine consists of setting out plates, bowls and cups in a designated order and preparing and eating everything in an ordered and systematic approach…doesn’t make it OCD, it’s just…‘efficiency’.

And just because I understand that if I heat the oven first, then peel the potatoes and boil them for approximately (See: ‘exactly’), 20 minutes, I can whack the garlic bread in for 16 minutes, cut up the carrot and zap it for 60 secs before throwing the zucchini in there for another 70 secs so the softness is consistent (but not til the garlic bread has 5 mins to go), and start on the schnitzel at the 10 minute mark, in order to get everything cooked and ready all at the exact same time…that’s not OCD, that’s just… ‘timing to perfection’. (more…)
June 2

MY SEED HAS SPRUNG!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years
4 Comments

2
JUN

Wa-ho-ho-nilly! Dang…back in April I got all up in my backyard’s face (Spreading My Seed), and like the paparazzi, I was digging through whatever dirt I could get my hands on. Weeks of tending and nurturing have finally paid off as all that dirt has suddenly sprung up into a luxurious green lawn.

And how excited was Indy to explore his newfound sprawling jungle? He was so excited, he started pulling out chunks of grass by the handfuls…

“Noooo!!!”

Like a slow motion action hero, I sprang to my new baby’s rescue, (not my actual baby-baby, my new lawn-baby). Scooping Indy in my arms and pitch’n’rolling him to safety. Grinning broadly with his scraggly green victory spoils clenched tight between his tiny fingers. (more…)