D-scoveries Archives - Page 2 of 5 - The 40YrOldDad The 40YrOldDad

September 1

SPHERO 2.0 DAD’S DAY GIVEAWAY

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: D-scoveries, Gadgets, Giveaways, Sponsored Posts
15 Comments

1
SEP

Speaking primarily as a man and as a 43 year old ‘man-child’, there’s two things I’ve always enjoyed playing with, (but we’ll leave Mumma out of this for now). Two ‘other’ things I’ve always been fond of playing with, are balls and technology. And until now, these two things have always been utilised completely separate from each other, (discounting the DIY robot hand debacle of ’87; still wincing after that one). But thanks to some very clever folks at GoSphero.com, they’ve melded them together to make the coolest frickin’ thing ever!

Sphero 2.0

Check out this video as Indy and I put our Sphero to the test.

So…What Is Sphero?

Sphero is the app-controlled ball that does it all. (more…)
July 4

WELCOME TO NEUTERVILLE. POPULATION…ME!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: Body Functions, D-scoveries, Events
3 Comments

4
JUL

When it comes to severing ties with those you hold nearest and dearest to your ~~sack~~ heart, you gotta weigh up your options. I had considered the Something About Mary home vasectomy kit, but when it comes to frank’n’beans, I opt for something a little less tearful to the eye and prefer to not end in the phrase, “We got a bleeder!”

And being the open-minded fella that I am, I went with an Open-ended vasectomy.

Which sounds like wrestling two garden hoses as they spray haphazardly out your trousers. Open-ended actually means the tubes are cut off and only one end is tied off. Your body still continues to produce sperm but it’s absorbed back into your body within 15 seconds. Kind of like when you dribble soup down your chin and quickly suck it back in before it drips on your cargo pants. Minus the slurping sound. It’s quick and scalpel-free. Best of all, I have a fully legitimate reason for literally being, SELF-ABSORBED.

And my practitioner of choice…

True dat! Dr Nicholas Demediuk (aka Dr Snip®), has performed over 20,000 vasectomies (and I thought I met a lot of ‘dicks’ in my profession). So he can pretty much do this with his eyes closed (but thankfully, doesn’t).

It all begins at home the night before when I have to shave my own ‘region’. A little whipper-snip and back burning to bring the manscape back to bare. There’s a reason you don’t take selfies when you’re shaving for a vasectomy. None of the angles do you any favours. Oh, the indignity. I don’t think I breathed during the whole ordeal.

Come game-day and a plaque on the wall reads, ‘Carpe Scrotum’ which if you know your Latin, is somewhat less than comforting (Seize the Scrotum). Man, I hope that’s a serving suggestion and not a direct order. Sounds like the Spartans war cry from ‘300’. However, Dr Nick assures me it’s less painful than going to the dentist, but then again, I never had a dentist pull teeth out through my scrotum. (more…)
May 30

5 POOS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Daipers, Friday Five Funny, The Baby Years, Tips
14 Comments

30
MAY

As a new parent, friends and family are always quick to inundate you with horrendous poo stories from other parents. We’ve all been warned to expect the ‘Krakatoa’ poo explosion, but there’s a few other poo types I’ve D-scovered along the way that nobody ever warned me about.

So, here’s a list of 5 poos that nobody ever told you about…

1. The ‘Comprehensive’ Poo
Similar to the Krakatoa Poo, except that it’s completely contained within the nappy and comprehensive, because it covers quite a large area and (thankfully), just laps at the edges. Phew…you just dodged a bullet.

2. The ‘I Just Changed Your Nappy A Minute Ago’ Poo
This is when you ‘um’ and ‘ah’ over whether or not to change the nappy because it’s been a while since the last change, but they haven’t had a poo that day. Sure enough, within a minute or two of deciding to change it, there’s a steamy deposit mocking you as you throw your fist at the sky and plead, “Why didn’t you do that a minute ago?!”

3. The ‘So You Think You’re Getting Out The Door On Time’ Poo
The car is packed, the nappy bag sorted, you’ve chased and wrestled for 15 mins to get their shoes on and dressed to go. A look at the clock and you’re bang on time…YES! You strap them into their car seat and that’s when it hits you…NO! That steamy waft and that cherub grin. Like they’ve planned it the whole time. But no need to call ahead, you’ve got a toddler now, nobody expects you to be on time for anything anymore EVER now, anyway. (more…)
May 18

PROBLEM SOLVER

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, The Baby Years
1 Comment

18
MAY

It used to be, that if our boy wanted something that we didn’t either feel like doing or didn’t want him to have, it was pretty easy to sway him off the idea through misdirection…look, a unicorn!

But now that he’s approaching the 23 month old mark, a certain aspect of his behaviour is coming to the fore…

He’s a Problem Solver!

A don’t tell me it can’t be done, show me how it CAN be done, kinda guy. He doesn’t focus on the problem, he looks for a solution and man, he has some serious powers of persuasion.

This behaviour first manifested a week ago when Indy wanted to play with Melmo (Daddy’s puppet creation and fuzzy arch nemesis. See my post Melmo! for details), but instead of simply accepting the standard misdirection, “No, no. Melmo’s asleep now. Oh look, an oxy-torch and a box of matches!” He now purposefully takes your hand, looks into your eyes and nods assuredly and supportively with some gentle but firm ‘yeps’, to sweeten the deal. Like you’ve just been mind-f#*d by a mini Derren Brown. (more…)
May 8

THE SEQUEL: HIGHS AND LOWS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, D-scoveries, Events, In the Womb, The Baby Years, Thoughts, Ultrasound
14 Comments

8
MAY

Our journey into parenthood began a couple years ago with Four Little Words, “You’re f*#ng kidding me!” Now that we’re writing the sequel, there were actually zero words. Just shock. Open-mouthed, jaw dropping shock…for about a day and a half!

The day before my birthday Mumma approached me on the couch and said, “Hold your hands out…”. Slightly confused and a little disappointed that whatever was behind her back was neither the size nor shape of golf clubs, when she placed the stick with two lines in my hand…my mind got carted for a six!

Next thing I remember, it was Wednesday.

Wow, for those who don’t know our story, we tried for 10 years to get pregnant. Endured 9 failed attempts of IVF, quite a few miscarriages and even a visit to a witch doctor but still no dice. We both turned 40 and decided it wasn’t to be, so we decided to have holidays instead of kids. We packed up and moved to Bali for 5 months and fell pregnant naturally with our miracle boy, Indy Wayan, within the first month of living there. Now, he’s just turned 22 months old and is the joy of our lives.

Never ever in our wildest dreams did we ever expect to ever get pregnant again. EVER! It’s one of those things we always said, “if it happens, it happens”, and we always thought it would be lovely to have another kid, but we never truly actually believed it would (or even could), ever actually really happen. So yes, I was gobsmacked and totally paralysed internally.

Can we really do this? Is it real? Indy was such a great baby, what if this one’s the devil or worse, barracks for Collingwood? What if it’s a girl? I know nothing about girls, I’m 43 years old now and still don’t understand women fully. What if it’s another boy? I love Indy so much, can I actually even love another baby? I’m considering going back to uni in July. Can we even afford another baby? How will Mumma cope? How will I cope? How will Indy cope? (more…)
April 15

VOICES 2014 TOP 30 FINALIST

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years
2 Comments

15
APR

Kidspot.com.au are running their annual Voices blogging program, searching for the bestest and most awesomest voices out there in the blog-o-sphere.

From over 1000 nominations this year 600 blogs were nominated.

From those 600, a Top 100 was selected encompassing 3 categories;

Food & Wellbeing – (30 finalists)

Beauty & Lifestyle – (40 finalists)

Personal & Parenting – (30 finalists)

And unbelievably, we’ve been selected as finalists in the Top 30 Personal & Parenting category!!

I’m both humbled and excited by our inclusion in the Top 30.

So, I’m actually ‘humbited’ or ‘excumbled’ (I can never tell those two apart, especially when they wear the same sweater vests).

Amazingly, out of the entire Top 100 there are only 4 blokes. And 3 of us…are Daddy Bloggers! (more…)
April 13

INTER-DIMENSIONAL WEE-WEE

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years, Uncategorized
2 Comments

13
APR

Step aside Twilight Zone, two-steps to the left Amazing Stories and kneel down and bow your head LOST, because our little man just officially blew my mind during breakfast that sent a shock wave of “What the…” rippling down our spines.

Checking my emails at the table while Indy munched through his honey-toast dip-dip in his high chair beside me, my spider-sense tingled at the sound of water streaming into the pool under his chair. Fully expecting to look up and see him pouring his water bottle over the side, I was shocked to see it was still in its place, untouched on the table and he was contending with a chewy piece of crust.

But underneath his chair, lurking like an aquatic troll, was a golden pool of liquid that immediately sunk my spirits and made me groan internally. Oh no, he’s peed himself in his high chair.

Mumma saw the shock wave ripple in her cup of tea from my sunken shoulders and leapt to lend a hand, but upon inspecting our presumably soaking cherub, he was actually…bone dry! His fiddly bits tucked away inside his nappy and not a drop of wee down his leg hole, his waistband or anywhere in between. But I heard it spill down into the pool and the evidence is clearly…evident. (more…)
April 7

FIDDLY BITS

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Daipers, Events, The Baby Years
5 Comments

7
APR

Darkness looms. A figure hunches in the shadows of his nightly prison, incoherent whispers hush quietly, incessantly. A crack of light from an open door spills across the figure, illuminates his damp and blotchy skin. Like Gollum from Lord of The Rings, the creature springs up, shields its eyes from the piercing glare. Its fiddly fingers conceal and protect his ‘precious’ from anyone who would dare try to steal it. The frenzied whispers rise to an audible exclamation as the creature leaps toward the bars and yells excitedly…

“Wee-wee!”

Yes, at 21 months of age, our son has discovered his ‘precious’ which he kindly refers to as his ‘wee-wee’. And like Lara Bingle and bad publicity, he just can’t get enough of it. Which is not really a problem in itself. I mean, we both knew it was inevitable that he would eventually find it, and if he wasn’t meant to play with it then God would have given him shorter arms or put it somewhere you can’t reach, like the spot between your shoulder blades or on top of the fridge. But what makes things challenging, is that he tends to dig around inside his nappy for it when he’s in bed and as a result, pees all over himself and the bed.

So there we are, a tag-team midnight pit crew change. Mumma strips him down and changes his Cookie Monster jammies on the change table, while I strip down and reassemble the cot. Done and dusted in under a minute. Our precision is envious. The whole thing to him occurred as a psychedelic blur of light and fleece, to which his only recollection in the morning must be, ‘how did I change pyjamas in the middle of the night?’ But even then, the flannelette cowboys on his second pyjamas have already worked up a sweat, as he’d been digging around and struck liquid gold, yet again. (more…)
March 30

MELMO!

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Gadgets, The Baby Years
3 Comments

30
MAR

As a kid, I spent a lot of time with my hands down my pants. Way, way down at the sock end, that is. Countless hours rummaging through my socks, deftly infusing them with life and colour that would afford me legendary status on The Muppet Show. Not so good for Mum’s purse, though, (Stop cutting up your school socks! We’re not made of money!).

I made a few marionettes, (which is actually a puppet on a string, not Maid Marion’s natural hair colour), and I fantasised for years (in my head, not my pants), about becoming a Muppeteer. A dream that would come to fruition some 30 odd years later…sort of?

Our little man is a huge fan of Seseme Street, with Cookie Monster and Super Grover as particular favourites. We actually met Cookie Monster in an earlier post, The Great Cookie Caper. But his all time favourite is Elmo. (more…)
March 16

STRYDER – HOW DID WE DO IT?

AUTHOR: 40YrOldDad // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years, Tips, Videos
No Comments

16
MAR

This week, as promised, a sneak peek behind the curtain at the making of our family-made short sci-fi film…

‘STRYDER’ – The movie.

Click the image to watch the film, then read on and be bedazzled at how we made it (no sequins were harmed during the making of this film).

Click to play

So…How did we do it?

Lying down, standing up, bent over the car seat and squatting on our haunches…basically. (You won’t believe how limber we are).

The whole thing was entirely made and put together using the smallest production company in the world…my index finger! (When I say ‘my’ I really mean, ‘our’, as sometimes it was Mumma’s index finger — okay, this is getting weird), all on my iPad-3. I storyboarded key scenes using a simple app called, Sketches. I kept the drawings so simple that a child could understand them, (that’s my excuse). Funny how if I showed them to someone and said Indy drew them, they’d compliment the crap out of them but if I said it was me, I get the raised eyebrow and the ‘geez, my two year old can draw better than that,’ remark.

We actually filmed in 3 different locations in 2 different states: (Consciousness and Unconsciousness). All the scenes of me in the car, the missile explosions and the Stryder walking up the driveway, were filmed in country NSW, where I was approached by concerned elderly onlookers checking if I was okay. They saw me lying in the driveway and thought I’d been run over. Assuring them I was completely fine, I’m just ‘filming my robot’, did absolutely nothing to alleviate their fears for my safety, but somehow raised concerns for their own? Damn judgemental eyebrows. Bad weather and evading authorities meant we had to flee the state to finish the rest.

(more…)