GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Nothing can quite prepare you for your first encounter with your child. I really didn’t expect to be so attached to him. I kind of expected the feeling would be the same as when I meet other people’s kids…

You know, they’re fun and interesting…now, who’s for Cribbage…anyone?

But I can’t explain the change that occurs when he opens his eyes for the very first time and you lock eyes for…one minute. His tiny deep blue eyes scanning your face, peering deep into your soul. It touches you in a way that doesn’t require Investigative Journalism. Instead, it bonds you for life. Like Superglue and Araldite…(I loved their show in Vegas, btw).

And there’s no greater bonding experience between a man and his son, that makes you feel like…the worst dad on the planet, than when you’re changing his little nappy. And as you clear away his troubles, he looks up at you with the purest of love and trust that would melt Wolverine’s Adamantium claws. You turn to reach for a clean nappy…and that’s when the screams begin…you turn back with horror to see little Indy…

Peeing on his own face!

It makes your heart sink, and makes you want to run crying from the room like a school girl. But you have to suck it up “Mary-Ellen” (your nerve, that is…not the pee. Use a cloth for that…and wash your hands afterwards), because you’ve got to rebuild that bridge of trust. The one bonded by Superglue, which apparently can lift a one-tonne sedan with only 7 drops (I saw it on Mythbusters), yet, completely disintegrates under the influence of baby urine…go figure?

Chalk that up to DAD MISHAPS #1.

And as for his first bath? Well, he takes to water like Katie Holmes to Scientology. Didn’t take long before he wanted OUT, OUT, OUT!!!

But still, I have to admit that I have grave fears that my wife may now “Indy-ed” be…

In love with another man!

And although it pains me to admit it, but…

So am I 🙂

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