D-Day+8…(and counting).
After yesterday’s Inside Scoop, we fully expected to be holding a little schnitzel in our arms by now, but he obviously has more important things on his mind. Like driving us out of our minds with all this waiting…waiting…waiting. It’s pretty exhausting and we haven’t even started yet!
But after a quick meeting with the Plumbing Doctor today…
Not only did we get a 10% discount off checking her faucets and replacing all our washers, but we’ve also been given the AOK to come into the hospital tomorrow and finally get things underway.
The plan is, to head in during the afternoon. Face a couple of procedural steps that need to be monitored overnight and then…all things going to plan (good luck), we should be meeting our little bloke on Wednesday. Hospital regulations mean I have to leave my love alone in the capable midwives hands overnight, while I head home and spend my evening alone, nervously chewing the furniture and wearing a track in the carpet, hoping everything goes to plan.
Then I head into the hospital Wednesday morning, they break her waters (I believe this is ceremoniously done by smashing a bottle of champagne over her hull, similar to the launching of a boat), and then spend the next “x” number of hours, watching our wonder come into the world.
So all things going to plan, as my friend Allan texted me, “Just breathe in and don’t forget to breathe out…July 4th – for you, will be Dependence Day!”
I’ve seen enough Daffy Duck cartoons to know that an ordinary household plunger should do the trick. If that doesn’t get the little sucker out, then Wile E. Coyote should come to the party with a few ACME gimmicks to get him moving.
And if all that fails, maybe we just sprinkle a bowl of birdseed out front and hide behind the nearest boulder. Which would probably be, my wife?