D-Day +5…(and counting).
Five days past our due date which means…you have to give him points for consistency.
Punching the air, picketing away with a little sign over his shoulder…
“Hell no, we won’t go! Hell no, we won’t go!”
Gotta love his stick-to-ed-ness…and yes, we get it. Both mumagement and dadagement will take your views under advisement, but in order to discuss things further at the negotiating table, you first have to come to the table. Which is outside, so…get on with it! (For your own safety, you understand).
We’ve explored all the “recommended” methods of bringing it on like walking, spicy foods, pineapple, accupressure, certain stimulations of certain areas that at one point, were part of daddy’s playground but will soon be delivery methods for your sustenance once you’re out.
But we’re getting to the pointy end of the stick, when daddy is starting to come up with his own methods of bringing you on. And some of the ideas that go through my head, didn’t exactly work out for a certain Wile E. Coyote.
NON-RECOMMENDED methods of bringing things on:
#1: High-dive platform diving
#2: Running (or rolling) over hot coals
#3: Mosh pit/stage diving
#4: Stand repeatedly between open and closed sliding glass doors at the supermarket
#5: Stand repeatedly between open and closed elevator doors
#6: Stand repeatedly between open and closed bus doors
#7: Scare him out with cardboard cutout of Tony Abbott in budgie smugglers (may also induce vomiting in the mother)
#8: Body massage with cricket pitch roller
#9: Bungee jumping
#10: ACME rocket skates
So, in order to avoid anything that may result in falling off a cliff to a down-playing swan whistle…it would be really, really, really great if you would come out now…pleeeeease 🙂
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