'PARENTING' BEGINS AT 40

WELCOME TO THE 40YROLDDAD.


A FIRST TIME DAD'S ADVENTURES IN FATHERHOOD AT THE RIPE OLD "MIDDLE-AGE" OF 40.

About this Blog: Funny how four little words can suddenly turn you’re life upside down…“You’re f*#king kidding me?” Okay, that was probably my four words…“We’re having a baby!” - that’s hers. Considering we’ve had 9 failed attempts at IVF, a few miscarriages and a witch doctor’s mojo later and still “no dice”…not only had we resigned ourselves to the fact it was never gonna happen, but we’d already made future plans with “just the two of us…la-de-la-de-da-de-da, the two of us”. Now all that’s out the window at the grand “middle-age"…of 40! And it's nothing short of an absolute MIRACLE!

  • EVOLUTION OF DADS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: D-scoveries, Dad Mishaps, Events

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    Being a Dad is a pretty awesome and often tough job.

    It’s funny to look back on my memories of my Baby Boomer Dad and compare them to myself today and just how ‘uncool’ I feel in comparison. Like the sideburns and handle-bar moustache which required a permit to feed them. Flares so wide you could hide a Boeing jet behind them. Collars so long and pointed they were registered as lethal weapons. Not to mention the platform shoes so high, you had to run up three flights of stairs just to get into them. Yet, somehow…

    He was cool.

    Maybe because he reminded me of Steve Austin, the Bionic Man. My younger brother still has furrows in his brow from trying to replicate that stoic powerful cocking of the eyebrow that both my Dad and Steve had in common.

    Maybe it was because he played guitar and was good…damn good.

    Or maybe it was because he used to draw cowboys for me on the back of the Weeties box for me to cut out and play with.

    Or maybe its just because he was my dad, that he just seemed larger than life and cooler than cool.

    Maybe my kids will feel the same about me?

    Not realising that truth be told, I still feel like a bumbling teenager trying to fudge my way through it. (more…)

  • MOTHERS DAY BREAKFAST WITH IGA

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, Events, Toddler Years

    2 Comments

    Last week we received a little goody-box from IGA. When I say little, it’s definitely big enough to fit a 2 year old child inside and ship him off to Europe if the screaming doesn’t stop, and it was chock full of lovely little items to help make this years Mothers Day, a special one.

    It’s the first Mothers Day Mumma has ever had with both our kids so it was going to be special anyhow, but getting Indy cracking in the kitchen was an excited bonus.

    Inside the box was a delicious assortment of ingredients and recipe, for mouth-watering…

    Apple Compote Pancakes

    Which did raise an eyebrow or two til I discovered I was mixing up compote with Capote, which was not quite as weird as I first thought if you consider Truman Capote did in fact write the novella, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, so at least we’re in the same broad area. (Who’d have thought I could be informative as well as educational?).

    Plus, there were other things inside to give our Mothers Day breakfast-in-bed concoction, a little more pizazz…A tiny jar of Pizazz! I’m kidding, I don’t even know what that would be. In reality, there was was a heart-shaped cookie cutter to get our pancakes into the right shape, a beautiful napkin and napkin ring, a floral arrangement in a tiny beer stubbie and a functional tray to carry it all in on.

    And the cutest item of all, was the tiniest apron I’ve ever seen. Just right for a two year old and certainly got our little lad into the Master Chef vibe as he hollered instructions and ordered me and my standards around in true Gordon Ramsay style.

    As you can see from the pics, he had a wonderful time and was very proud of the final presentation. (more…)

  • POTTY TRAINING FOR BEGINNERS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, Dad Mishaps, Daipers, Events, Toddler Years

    2 Comments

    The day had finally arrived. The one I’d been looking forward to for the last two and a half years. The day I could finally breath a great sigh of relief that I would never again have to change another wet or smelly diaper. Let the ceremonial burning of the nappy begin.

    Freedom and liberation for all! The time had come…

    Indy went on the potty…HOORAY!

    He also went on the carpet, the tiles, in front of the fridge, under the table, on the couch, behind the couch, over the heat vent in someone else’s house, in his pants, on my pants, in his bed and on his bed. Though never in a sneaky I shouldn’t be doing this fashion, but always with bold confidence and a spring in his step. Mind you, that could just be the mandatory shaking of the last drops. Which only leads to one conclusion… (more…)

  • SUPER FLYING INDY

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, D-scoveries, Gadgets, Toddler Years, Videos

    3 Comments

    It’s no secret that our little bloke and I are both into Super Heroes. He’s also currently obsessed with ‘Dusty’ from the Disney movie, PLANES, and basically anything that flies.

    I guess it’s every boy’s dream to actually be able to fly and after several days of pestering persistent enquiries, I did what any Dad with a fondness for Super Heroes would do…

    I told Indy I would find a way to help make him fly.

    The result is this…

    (more…)

  • SANTA’S NO DUMMY AT CHRISTMAS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, Dad Mishaps, Events, Toddler Years

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    If there was ever a Christmas we were eagerly excited and scared about, it was this one. Reasons being, this is the first Christmas where Indy could actually grasp hold of the concepts of Santa, good boys and girls, and of course…presents. The scary part being, it’s also the same Christmas we’re teaching our boy about ‘giving’ as well as receiving and we discussed the idea of giving his dummy to Santa.

    A conversation that was well supported by Santa and the helpful elves at PNP Portable North Pole, which if you haven’t gotten onto it yet, it’s an amazing service that provides custom videos and phone calls from Santa himself, direct from the North Pole in preparation for the big night. You can upload photos and input information and Santa talks directly to you by name, and in our case, Santa told Indy that he hoped he could stop using his dummy and that he will bring him a new bike for Christmas.

    We played that video every day and each time, Indy would get excited and tell us he would give his dummy to Santa and that Santa would give him a bike. It was very cute and exciting to watch. But when push came to shove, would he actually be able to part with his ‘bwue duddy’ when the time came? It’s been his security for the term of his entire life! Almost like giving up a limb, I expect?

    Santa paid the family a visit on Christmas Eve and two things shocked us immediately. First of all, straight up without even uttering a single word from Santa, as soon as he approached, Indy looked quizzically at him then excitedly exclaimed… (more…)

  • CHRISTMAS LIGHTS SPECTACULAR

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, Events, Toddler Years, Videos

    1 Comment

    One of the greatest most fun things about Christmas, is driving around checking out other people’s Christmas light displays. And in our area alone, there’s some pretty awesome ones. The kind of displays that make you go, ‘man, I’d love to do something like that’, with the kind of electrical bills that make you go, ‘man, I sure am glad I didn’t do something like that.’

    Plus, it was the first time ever that we took our kids out to experience them and Indy was super excited. Seeing as it doesn’t actually get dark until nearly 9pm because of daylight savings, he still went to bed at his usual 7 o’clock but we woke him at 9pm and we all snuck out to the car like ninja spies on a secret mission…dressed in Thomas the Tank Engine urban camouflage.

    As we drove around, we’d mapped out a few places on the GPS and walking to our first place, I laughed at Indy rubbing his hands together with eager anticipation like he was about to do something really super exciting…or hatch an evil plan for world domination.

    And every place we went to just got better and better.

    My two personal favourites being; (more…)

  • MY DIY CO-SLEEPER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, 3rd Trimester, Gadgets, The Baby Years

    17 Comments

    After Mumma’s Caesarian with little Alice, it’s six weeks of recovery with no driving, no lifting anything heavier than the baby (lucky it wasn’t me or I’d have a hard time going to the bathroom, if I wasn’t allowed to lift anything heavier than a baby) 😉, and definitely no hanky-panky.

    Which is why my eyebrows flew off my head when Mumma mentioned a threesome. What she actually meant was three of us sharing the bed, due to the fact that Alice is a brilliant sleeper during the day, but at night, just wants to be held. Kind of like my lonely single years during the late 90’s.

    But co-sleeping with the baby in the bed can lead to all kinds of issues such as overheating or a risk of waking up with a baby pancake in between you (ie: my personal greatest fear), not to mention being a highly effective cock-blocker, and is somewhat frowned upon by the SIDS people.

    So we decided to put the baby basinet beside the bed instead. Problem with that is it’s a good Danny Devito size taller than our bed, meaning Mumma has to use her tummy muscles to get up out of bed and reach up and over into the basinet to pick Alice up, which is against all the rules for a healthy recovery. (more…)

  • TRUTH VS MAGIC: RUDOLPH OR REVELATION?

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2-3 years, Events, Thoughts, Toddler Years

    3 Comments

    I still remember the day my parents sat me down and told me the …[spoiler alert]…”truth”…about Santa.

    After they swept up all the glass, stemmed the bleeding from their ears and tilted the earth back on its correct axis, they came at me with both barrels…ie: the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. A triple shot to the head, heart and groin.

    I guess I can understand the theory behind it. Better to hear the truth from us than to hear it from someone else in the playground. And killing three-birds with one stone was kind of like the ‘rip off the bandaid, quick’ approach.

    So, I did what anyone else in my position at the time would have done.

    I jerked the steering wheel hard and sent us all careening off the Westgate Bridge, plummeting us all to our deaths…or so it felt like at the time.

    I was 35. (Actually, I was like, 12 I think?).

    All things considered, I took it pretty well.

    I’m kidding of course…I WAS DEVASTATED!!! (more…)

  • ALICE IN WONDERLAND

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, Events, In the Womb, The Baby Years

    15 Comments

    Our trip to Wonderland began with another journey down the rabbit hole, and what did we find?

    A menagerie of mad hatters; red, blue and white. (I’m always surprised as to why a bald man such as myself, is still required to wear a hair net in an operating theatre). But them’s the rules, I guess?

    Cheshire Cat grins a mile wide, and a lovely little girl named…

    Alice Nevada Bechtold

    Born at 10:23am on…what day was it again? Oh, yes…

    Remembrance Day!

    3.95kg and 52cm in length for those running a pool at work or the TAB. So, 5 grams lighter than Indy but 2cm taller and looks so amazingly like Indy, they look like twins born 2 and a half years apart! (more…)

  • ONE SLEEP TO GO

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3rd Trimester, In the Womb, The Baby Years

    6 Comments

    Only one sleep to go until…

    40YrOldDad Version 2.0

    Our final day of ‘treesome’.

    Wow, can it really be true? I feel like we’ve both been so busy; Mumma with work and me with going back to Uni, that the time has suddenly crept up behind us and before we knew it, we’re staring right down the barrel of baby #2 about to enter our lives. It seems crazy. Are we crazy? I think we are (or at the very least, a teensy bit delirious).

    And the fact that I’ve been a dad for 2 and a half years now should give me a quiet sense of confidence, but the truth is, washing little girls clothes in the washing machine freaked me out a bit. And when we were shopping in Target, we strolled past the girl section where Mumma kindly pointed out the little bras and knickers hanging on the racks, and indicated that’s something we’ll have to get used to one day.

    Holy crap!

    Never-ever-ever in my whole thought process of being a new dad to a little girl did the thought ever cross my mind that one day we’d have to go bra shopping!

    What-da-f#*k, Mumma? You’re weirding me out!

    (more…)

Justin P Bechtold is a comedian, designer, screenwriter and HomeDad. Written and performed all over the world (man, someone's gotta clean that up). This blog explores my comic misadventures of being a first time dad from the ripe old 'middle-age" of 40.

  • COMEDIAN

    WHAT I DO

    Standup Comedy, Sketch Comedy, Comedy Writing. If it’s funny, then I’ll do it. It’s in my blood. Seriously…last week I cut my finger and three clowns fell out!

  • DESIGNER

    WHAT I CREATE

    PEOPLE (well, two people at least. Not sure how many more I have left in me?). Also create Logos, business cards, posters. (Not at the same time, mind you. I have to feed my kids at some point).

  • SCREENWRITER

    WHAT I WRITE

    Did I mention Comedy? I also write Blogs, Action-Adventure tent pole features and TV Shows. And one time, at Band Camp, I wrote my name in the snow!

  • HOMEDAD

    WHAT I LEARN

    Something new every day, fo’shizzle. Two amazing kids who astound me every day with their antics and an even more amazing wife who’s astounded by mine. Trust me, you don’t want to know. (Really, quit poking me). Alright then, you asked for it…Scroll Away!

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