ULTRASOUND

  • THE SEX NAZI: NO SEX FOR YOU!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Events, In the Womb, Ultrasound

    17 Comments

    We had our 20 week scan and got to see our beautiful girl doing tumble turns in the oven. It’s a marvel of technology to be able to see everything going on inside. That’s the humerus…“Gee, I thought it’d be funnier?” I said. The stenographer smiled politely. Mumma topped me without missing a beat…“we thought you would be, too.” Then high-fived each other with their eyes. It was a good call, but stung like a prick to the testes.

    Our gal is growing marvellously and we couldn’t be happier. The placenta is a little low, and seeing as we have no experience in cheering one up, we have to get another scan at 32 weeks to ensure it’s not obstructing the birth canal. That will determine whether or not she takes the natural route or gets ejected through the skylight.

    We followed that up today with a visit to the Midwife clinic, where we had a couple followers of our own. A friend from our Mothers group and a friend of Mumma’s sister, both midwifery students, accompanying and observing our appointments. It’s a little unusual to hear the Doctor call out your wife’s name…and four people get up and walk in! Like Bill Paxton and his ‘Big Love’ Mormon Wives. Our own private entourage. (more…)

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  • RESULTS ARE IN…

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Events, In the Womb, Thoughts, Ultrasound

    16 Comments

    Indy had just gone down for a nap and I was in the loo when I heard it. Not that, THAT…the shrill of Mumma’s ringtone. By the time I made it to the living room, my heart was already in my mouth, which is probably why I couldn’t breathe. Unless it had something to do with a certain There’s Something About Mary ‘frank’n’beans’ moment I had unwittingly recreated in my haste to zip up and hear the news.

    Through wincing eyes and bated breath, I was playing catchup. Having already missed part of the conversation, I had to extrapolate what I thought was being relayed down the phone by piecing together Mumma’s subtle facial expressions, body mannerisms and pupil dilations as she listened intently. Like trying to figure out what’s happening on LOST, when you’ve already missed the first two seasons, there’s just no way.

    Even if she did say something, there’s no way I could have heard it over the pounding of the pulse between my ears, like the guy swinging his hammer at the Rank Arena gong. And suddenly, all at once, there was a resounding SILENCE as she hung up the phone. The results are in… (more…)

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  • THE SEQUEL: HIGHS AND LOWS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, D-scoveries, Events, In the Womb, The Baby Years, Thoughts, Ultrasound

    14 Comments

    Our journey into parenthood began a couple years ago with Four Little Words, “You’re f*#ng kidding me!” Now that we’re writing the sequel, there were actually zero words. Just shock. Open-mouthed, jaw dropping shock…for about a day and a half!

    The day before my birthday Mumma approached me on the couch and said, “Hold your hands out…”. Slightly confused and a little disappointed that whatever was behind her back was neither the size nor shape of golf clubs, when she placed the stick with two lines in my hand…my mind got carted for a six!

    Next thing I remember, it was Wednesday.

    Wow, for those who don’t know our story, we tried for 10 years to get pregnant. Endured 9 failed attempts of IVF, quite a few miscarriages and even a visit to a witch doctor but still no dice. We both turned 40 and decided it wasn’t to be, so we decided to have holidays instead of kids. We packed up and moved to Bali for 5 months and fell pregnant naturally with our miracle boy, Indy Wayan, within the first month of living there. Now, he’s just turned 22 months old and is the joy of our lives.

    Never ever in our wildest dreams did we ever expect to ever get pregnant again. EVER! It’s one of those things we always said, “if it happens, it happens”, and we always thought it would be lovely to have another kid, but we never truly actually believed it would (or even could), ever actually really happen. So yes, I was gobsmacked and totally paralysed internally.

    Can we really do this? Is it real? Indy was such a great baby, what if this one’s the devil or worse, barracks for Collingwood? What if it’s a girl? I know nothing about girls, I’m 43 years old now and still don’t understand women fully. What if it’s another boy? I love Indy so much, can I actually even love another baby? I’m considering going back to uni in July. Can we even afford another baby? How will Mumma cope? How will I cope? How will Indy cope? (more…)

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  • IT’S A SCHNITZEL!!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, In the Womb, Ultrasound

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    That’s right folks…we’re having a boy!

    I was going to video our reactions when we got to peek in the oven and find out just Who’s Cooking, but I was way too nervous with excitement to film it. As you can clearly tell

    The wonder of technology nowadays is astounding. Being able to see a 3D version of what the baby looks like, and we didn’t even have to wear those stupid 3D glasses. I kind of feel a bit foolish for bringing mine…and wearing them! (But then, I should never have left my driving glasses at home).

    Everything looks just great! Everything in tact; fingers, toes, facial features all present and accounted for and most importantly, all in the right place. And inside, everything is going according to plan; brain, kidneys, heart…the kid’s a natural.

    And there’s no denying he’s a schnitzel, alright. On account of his little Wiener. (more…)

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  • SCHNITZEL OR SCHNITZELLE?

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 2nd Trimester, Ultrasound

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    Week 19 and we are one week away from knowing whether or not we have a schnitzel or a schnitzelle cooking in the oven.

    It’s really exciting and nerve-racking all at the same time. I don’t know whether to jump for joy or pee my pants. Probably best not to do both, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of that behaviour once the oven timer “dings”.

    We visited the Maternity Clinic this week. I’ve never seen so many pregnant women in one place! My lovely angel whispered in my ear…

    “You okay? I know how excited you get around pregnant women!”

    Damn, and I’d left my apron at home as well.

    I was totally surrounded. I felt like the odd man out at The Biggest Loser auditions. Still, it’s kind of comforting to know this “pregnancy” thing, seems to happen all the time, so it feels like we’re in good hands.

    The Midwives seem extremely lovely and supportive, our Doctor on the other hand (still lovely and supportive), but very “old school”, in that, she pulled the curtain across in front of me in the examination room so I couldn’t “see the show”. I felt like a dirty perve listening outside the shower curtain, made worse by the fact I was breathing heavily and rubbing my hands together. (Well, I did have to run out to move the car before my parking expired). (more…)

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  • ANNND….SAFE!!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Ultrasound

    2 Comments

    It feels like my batter just slid into home plate!

    (Wow, that didn’t even remotely, sound quite right???)

    What I mean is, we’ve just scored a touchdown, at the elusive 12 Week mark!

    (Another mixed sporting metaphor?)

    My point is

    “We made it!!!”

    (Or rather…our little “tenant” made it)

    All the tests confirm (at least, at this point), that there is indeed, a healthy teeny-tiny Adventurer Extraordinaire, in our mids.

    (Me-lady’s “mids” to be precise).

    Well, it’s not hard to see this baby was conceived in Bali…how relaxed is that?? Kickin’ back, relaxing, catching some rays…Waiter, my mocktail please (non-alcoholic, of course). (more…)

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  • ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN…

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Ultrasound

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    Another giant leap, for mankind…or womankind, (still too early to tell yet).

    And no…that’s no crater on the moon, that’s a bubba. Holy cow, it’s really in there!

    That just makes it all so much more “real”. We could even see the heartbeat, beating like a little flicky thing, that…flicks…more often than a couch potato channel surfing. (more…)

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