3-5 YEARS

  • PARENTAL INTIMACY: A RISKY MONKEY-BUSINESS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, Dad Mishaps, Toddler Years

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    Parental Intimacy: There’s Always A Chance

    If you’re a parent, then you know the very act of intimacy that got you into that predicament in the first place, is a far less common practice than your tiredness (and children) will allow. The spirit is willing but the body is weak, as the old saying goes.

    In some instances, it can be as rare as a Halley’s Comet sighting. A once or twice-a-lifetime thing, if you’re lucky. In others, it’s like a star-nosed mole that is spotted occasionally, but only at night. And when you have two early-risers who bound out of bed with a rocket-force of 5 million Newtons at the mere suggestion the sun could be coming up at any second, then the chance of a ‘morning-nookie’ is exactly the same as Karl Stefanovic quitting drinking.

    It’s slim, but as Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber will tell you, there’s always a chance. (more…)

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  • CRAFTING THE ULTIMATE FUN-FILLED MINECRAFT PARTY

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, 3-5 years, Events

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    A Minecraft Party Please

    Unsure whether I fell asleep in a Delorean or put my clock ahead too far during daylight savings. The tiny Marge Simpson-shaped baby I held in my arms and watched open his eyes for the very first time in his new-born life, suddenly aged 5 years before my very own eyes. How can this be? It’s a joke, right? I have to be dreaming. After all, petrol is under $1.15, Gogglebox has been renewed for another season AND…Donald Trump is President of Dementia.

    But sure enough, it’s ALL true. Our boy is five.

    Hard to believe that only yesterday our toes were dipped in the relaxing serenity of a Balinese swimming pool and today, we’re completely submerged in the calamity of Lightning McQueen, YouTube Kids and Minecraft. None of which I had ever heard of or had any inkling about until our boy educated us on such matters. Now, it’s all a part of our every day lives, like Donald Trump memes or taking a dump.

    So, it was no surprise when Indy told us he wanted to have a Minecraft Lego themed party for his 5th birthday. What was a surprise to us, is that he really actually meant it. So, it was off to the crafting-table blackboard to nut our heads together and plan a fun-filled occasion, for just such an occasion. Just one question first… (more…)

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  • LEGOLAND OPENS IN MELBOURNE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, Places

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    Legoland® Discovery Centre Melbourne

    The Southern Hemisphere’s first ultimate indoor Legoland playground opened its doors to the public and we got an exclusive inside peek at this amazing new family attraction at Chadstone – The Fashion Capital. Under the five hours of non-stop activity and scrutiny of our 4 and 2½ year old kids, we are happy to report that everything is in fact, AWESOME.

    Just how awesome is it?

    It was finished 6 weeks ahead of schedule – AWESOME. (But clearly had plenty of detailed graphic instruction booklets on how to assemble it all together to work from.)

    Over 2 million bricks used in the construction of a MINILAND Melbourne, featuring the MCG, Arts Centre and ‘the big chip’ among 25 iconic Melbourne landmarks – AWESOME. (Including a homeless man lying in the park, or maybe he just fell over?)

    Thirteen family friendly attractions AND a 4D cinema – AWESOME. (You may get sprayed. I sure hope it’s water.)
    (more…)

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  • ELFIE CAUGHT ON TAPE FLYING BACK TO NORTH POLE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, D-scoveries, Toddler Years, Videos

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    Having Elfie stay with us over the Christmas break sure was exciting. Never knowing where he’ll end up next was certainly a highlight for the kids. Our Elf on the Shelf visitor certainly got up to some hi-jinx, which in retrospect, may be a lot to sustain in the future. (more…)

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  • VIDEO PROOF THAT OUR ELF ON THE SHELF IS ALIVE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, D-scoveries, Toddler Years, Videos

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    This year we had a very special Elf on the Shelf visitor stay with us for the lead up to Christmas.

    Every year Santa sends out a special Scout Elf to monitor kids behaviour and report back to Santa each night. The kids get to name their elf and went with the very creative ELFIE (Elf The Elf). Elfie then returns each morning hiding in a different place for the kids to find. There are only two rules;

    Rule#1 – You cannot touch Elfie or his magic will not work.
    Rule#2 – Elfie isn’t allowed to talk to us.

    But you can talk to him, share your secrets and tell him what you want for Christmas.

    I’m a firm believer in keeping the wonder of magic alive for our kids for as long as is humanly possible. Which I passionately mentioned in an earlier post, and Elfie is no exception. (more…)

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  • CREEPY THINGS KIDS SAY TO MAKE YOU CRAP YOUR DACKS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, D-scoveries, Thoughts, Toddler Years

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    We’ve all seen them on the net. The creepy things toddlers say that makes you think they’ve lived another life as a serial killer or frightened the bajeezus out of you because ‘they see dead people.’

    We’ve had our own experiences that not only raised a curious eyebrow, but that eyebrow actually crept so far back over the top of my head, it actually disappeared down my ass crack for its own protection.

    There’s three instances in particular I’ll choose to focus on.

    Creepy Instance #1: The Phantom Footsteps

    For about two years now, Indy has mentioned a constant sound he hears, particularly at night. He says whenever he closes his eyes, he sees feet creeping and running around and that they make a kind of sshh-sshh-sshh sound as they walk. I mentioned one time that it was probably me coming in to check on his clock and put his snacks and water beside his bed for the morning, hoping that would make him feel better. Now he prefers I don’t do that so he doesn’t hear my footsteps. Only now, things have cranked up a notch… (more…)

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  • HEY DUGGEE, GO JETTERS AND THE CBEEBIES TEAM

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, 3-5 years, Events

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    If you have kids under 5, then no doubt you’ll be familiar with biscuit crumbs wedged in the cracks of your car seat and couch. You’ll also most likely be familiar with CBeebies TV shows, Hey Duggee and Go Jetters. They’re two of our most favourite shows to watch, if you can actually see the screen beneath a myriad of greasy fingerprints and two heads clambering to get as close to the screen as possible, whenever they come on. So, the excitement of meeting Duggee and Ubercorn in real-life was as high as my hairline. (more…)

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  • WINTERBOTTOM WINS OVER LIGHTNING MCQUEEN

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, 3-5 years, Events

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    For the last two years, Lightning McQueen has reigned supreme in pole position on our boy’s interest leaderboard, until yesterday, when a new contender emerged victorious atop the Winner’s Podium – Mark ‘Frosty’ Winterbottom.

    Not since The Marx Brothers has there been such a crazy and fun ‘Day At The Races’, and excited as we were to get up close and personal with McQueen and Mack at the Disney/Pixar Cars Truck Tour, we had no idea just how close and personal things were about to get. Crazy close and personal.

    The Disney/Pixar Cars Truck Tour was housed in the Disney Interactive Zone inside the Phillip Island Grand Prix Circuit during the WD 40 Phillip Island Supersprints, which sounds like a bunch of running robot athletes racing each other without a single squeak, but is actually a full-on, high-octane V8 Supercar Racecar Event. Discounting the slot-car set Indy got for Christmas, we’ve never been this close to an actual race track before and there really is a certain vibe, buzz and thrill in the air around it. (more…)

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  • LIGHTNING MCQUEEN IN PHILLIP ISLAND THIS WEEKEND

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, 3-5 years, Events

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    YEEHAW! Buckle up and put your pedal-to-the-metal because Lightning McQueen and Mack are rolling right out of Radiator Springs and revving right up to our very doorstep. Yes, indeed. Disney/Pixar, Mack Trucks and V8 Supercars are excited to announce that The Disney/Pixar Cars Truck Tour will be touring Phillip Island this weekend!

    KA-CHOW! (more…)

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  • WHEN INDY MET THE DENTIST

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, Events, Toddler Years

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    When I was a kid, I loved going to the dentist. Or rather, the dentist would come to us. Huddled in a little caravan parked inside the school, we clambered in one-by-one like a budget version of Noah’s Ark, in order to have our teeth examined, cleaned and filled (as necessary) and when we spat out our last mouthful of fluoride into the spittoon provided and wiped the dribble from our lips, he’d tell us what a great job we did, hand us our cellophane-wrapped lollipop and send us off with a cheery, “See you next year.” It was a…hold-up, did I just say lollipop? Hold the phone, this guy was keeping himself in business! (more…)

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