Wow, here we are at our 100th post and I felt it only deserving that we look back on just how we got here in the first place. For those of you reading this, it was probably through your internet browser, email or mobile device… but that’s not what I’m getting at. Every fairy tale romance has a great origin story, and this is ours…
It started…with a ‘fart’.
Okay, let’s back up a little. I answered an advert for a short film that was being shot the following weekend that for some reason, I had an unexplained overwhelming urge to be involved in. I called the director and the non-speaking role of the boyfriend had not yet been cast. We agreed to meet at her place to audition.
We met the next day and I got the part, I was also informed that the woman playing my girlfriend was also supposed to meet us, but was running late. I couldn’t stay, I literally had a train to catch and as I got to the end of the driveway, she suddenly arrived. Our initial meeting was as brief as Borat’s mankini, with her thinking, “Yeah, he’s cute but much too young for me”, (completely unaware that I was almost a year older than her, thanks to good genes and a regular Oil of Ulan regime), and my thoughts on her…
“Cool, at least she’s not ugly.”
The weekend saw myself booking into a Ranger’s Station at Wilson’s Prom amid a ragtag student film crew, when I suddenly spied a familiar face leaning against the back wall. I sidled up to her and nonchalantly cracked, “Hi, I think I’m your boyfriend?” A come-on line served with so much cheese, you could eat it off a biscuit. I took the rolling of her eyes as a term of endearment, lest my pride be hurt.
Prepping film gear and settling into our cabins, she generously made me a cup of tea and offered an insight into her own cheeky behaviour by stating, ‘You know what my dad used to do to me?” And seared the inside of my forearm, like a cowboy branding cattle, with the back of the scolding hot teaspoon from her cup! So shocked and surprised was I by her sudden and unexpected assault, that I unexpectedly retaliated by sheer reflex, in such a way that was just as equally as surprising and unexpected… (more…)