THE BABY YEARS

  • 5 POOS NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Daipers, Friday Five Funny, The Baby Years, Tips

    14 Comments

    As a new parent, friends and family are always quick to inundate you with horrendous poo stories from other parents. We’ve all been warned to expect the ‘Krakatoa’ poo explosion, but there’s a few other poo types I’ve D-scovered along the way that nobody ever warned me about.

    So, here’s a list of 5 poos that nobody ever told you about…

    1. The ‘Comprehensive’ Poo
    Similar to the Krakatoa Poo, except that it’s completely contained within the nappy and comprehensive, because it covers quite a large area and (thankfully), just laps at the edges. Phew…you just dodged a bullet.

    2. The ‘I Just Changed Your Nappy A Minute Ago’ Poo
    This is when you ‘um’ and ‘ah’ over whether or not to change the nappy because it’s been a while since the last change, but they haven’t had a poo that day. Sure enough, within a minute or two of deciding to change it, there’s a steamy deposit mocking you as you throw your fist at the sky and plead, “Why didn’t you do that a minute ago?!”

    3. The ‘So You Think You’re Getting Out The Door On Time’ Poo
    The car is packed, the nappy bag sorted, you’ve chased and wrestled for 15 mins to get their shoes on and dressed to go. A look at the clock and you’re bang on time…YES! You strap them into their car seat and that’s when it hits you…NO! That steamy waft and that cherub grin. Like they’ve planned it the whole time. But no need to call ahead, you’ve got a toddler now, nobody expects you to be on time for anything anymore EVER now, anyway. (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • PROBLEM SOLVER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, The Baby Years

    1 Comment

    It used to be, that if our boy wanted something that we didn’t either feel like doing or didn’t want him to have, it was pretty easy to sway him off the idea through misdirection…look, a unicorn!

    But now that he’s approaching the 23 month old mark, a certain aspect of his behaviour is coming to the fore…

    He’s a Problem Solver!

    A don’t tell me it can’t be done, show me how it CAN be done, kinda guy. He doesn’t focus on the problem, he looks for a solution and man, he has some serious powers of persuasion.

    This behaviour first manifested a week ago when Indy wanted to play with Melmo (Daddy’s puppet creation and fuzzy arch nemesis. See my post Melmo! for details), but instead of simply accepting the standard misdirection, “No, no. Melmo’s asleep now. Oh look, an oxy-torch and a box of matches!” He now purposefully takes your hand, looks into your eyes and nods assuredly and supportively with some gentle but firm ‘yeps’, to sweeten the deal. Like you’ve just been mind-f#*d by a mini Derren Brown. (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • THE SEQUEL: HIGHS AND LOWS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, D-scoveries, Events, In the Womb, The Baby Years, Thoughts, Ultrasound

    14 Comments

    Our journey into parenthood began a couple years ago with Four Little Words, “You’re f*#ng kidding me!” Now that we’re writing the sequel, there were actually zero words. Just shock. Open-mouthed, jaw dropping shock…for about a day and a half!

    The day before my birthday Mumma approached me on the couch and said, “Hold your hands out…”. Slightly confused and a little disappointed that whatever was behind her back was neither the size nor shape of golf clubs, when she placed the stick with two lines in my hand…my mind got carted for a six!

    Next thing I remember, it was Wednesday.

    Wow, for those who don’t know our story, we tried for 10 years to get pregnant. Endured 9 failed attempts of IVF, quite a few miscarriages and even a visit to a witch doctor but still no dice. We both turned 40 and decided it wasn’t to be, so we decided to have holidays instead of kids. We packed up and moved to Bali for 5 months and fell pregnant naturally with our miracle boy, Indy Wayan, within the first month of living there. Now, he’s just turned 22 months old and is the joy of our lives.

    Never ever in our wildest dreams did we ever expect to ever get pregnant again. EVER! It’s one of those things we always said, “if it happens, it happens”, and we always thought it would be lovely to have another kid, but we never truly actually believed it would (or even could), ever actually really happen. So yes, I was gobsmacked and totally paralysed internally.

    Can we really do this? Is it real? Indy was such a great baby, what if this one’s the devil or worse, barracks for Collingwood? What if it’s a girl? I know nothing about girls, I’m 43 years old now and still don’t understand women fully. What if it’s another boy? I love Indy so much, can I actually even love another baby? I’m considering going back to uni in July. Can we even afford another baby? How will Mumma cope? How will I cope? How will Indy cope? (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • VOICES 2014 TOP 30 FINALIST

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years

    2 Comments

    Kidspot.com.au are running their annual Voices blogging program, searching for the bestest and most awesomest voices out there in the blog-o-sphere.

    From over 1000 nominations this year 600 blogs were nominated.

    From those 600, a Top 100 was selected encompassing 3 categories;

    Food & Wellbeing – (30 finalists)

    Beauty & Lifestyle – (40 finalists)

    Personal & Parenting – (30 finalists)

    And unbelievably, we’ve been selected as finalists in the Top 30 Personal & Parenting category!!

    Mumma, Indy and Daddy Celebrate Top 30 Announcement

    I’m both humbled and excited by our inclusion in the Top 30.

    So, I’m actually ‘humbited’ or ‘excumbled’ (I can never tell those two apart, especially when they wear the same sweater vests).

    Amazingly, out of the entire Top 100 there are only 4 blokes. And 3 of us…are Daddy Bloggers! (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • ANTS IN OUR PANTS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Dad Mishaps, The Baby Years

    2 Comments

    Two days of constant rain. Bailed up, inside Oma and Opa’s place. The backyard is right there, but may as well be a hundred miles away. Two foreheads pressed against the glass, yearning for freedom. One at head height, the other round about knee. That’s when it happened…

    The stupidest idea I’d ever had as a father.

    We both saw it. A break in the weather. A crack in the clouds where golden rays of light spilled down taunting us like a beckoning finger.

    Let’s do it.

    Before you can even say “let’s do it”, he was already rapping on the window, shoes in hand, pleading with Mumma to let him out into the sun. “Okay,” she said, “but you should probably take Indy with you.”  — Fine (sulk, sulk)…

    Off we go. Two intrepid explorers venturing off into the wilderness. Indiana Jones would be proud. Father and son, off to conquer the elements and take on the surrounds like Bear Grylls in Man vs Wild.

    Through the back gate and out into the back paddock. Trudging through knee-high grass, I turned to see Indy’s head bobbing just above the grass-line, grinning from ear to ear. The ground teeming with life. Bugs and insects foraging, building, reinforcing after the rains. Me and my boy, collecting rocks and jumping over puddles. A true Huck Finn moment.

    (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • INTER-DIMENSIONAL WEE-WEE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Events, The Baby Years, Uncategorized

    2 Comments

    Step aside Twilight Zone, two-steps to the left Amazing Stories and kneel down and bow your head LOST, because our little man just officially blew my mind during breakfast that sent a shock wave of “What the…” rippling down our spines.

    Checking my emails at the table while Indy munched through his honey-toast dip-dip in his high chair beside me, my spider-sense tingled at the sound of water streaming into the pool under his chair. Fully expecting to look up and see him pouring his water bottle over the side, I was shocked to see it was still in its place, untouched on the table and he was contending with a chewy piece of crust.

    But underneath his chair, lurking like an aquatic troll, was a golden pool of liquid that immediately sunk my spirits and made me groan internally. Oh no, he’s peed himself in his high chair.

    Mumma saw the shock wave ripple in her cup of tea from my sunken shoulders and leapt to lend a hand, but upon inspecting our presumably soaking cherub, he was actually…bone dry! His fiddly bits tucked away inside his nappy and not a drop of wee down his leg hole, his waistband or anywhere in between. But I heard it spill down into the pool and the evidence is clearly…evident. (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • FIDDLY BITS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Daipers, Events, The Baby Years

    5 Comments

    Darkness looms. A figure hunches in the shadows of his nightly prison, incoherent whispers hush quietly, incessantly. A crack of light from an open door spills across the figure, illuminates his damp and blotchy skin. Like Gollum from Lord of The Rings, the creature springs up, shields its eyes from the piercing glare. Its fiddly fingers conceal and protect his ‘precious’ from anyone who would dare try to steal it. The frenzied whispers rise to an audible exclamation as the creature leaps toward the bars and yells excitedly…

    “Wee-wee!”

    Yes, at 21 months of age, our son has discovered his ‘precious’ which he kindly refers to as his ‘wee-wee’. And like Lara Bingle and bad publicity, he just can’t get enough of it. Which is not really a problem in itself. I mean, we both knew it was inevitable that he would eventually find it, and if he wasn’t meant to play with it then God would have given him shorter arms or put it somewhere you can’t reach, like the spot between your shoulder blades or on top of the fridge. But what makes things challenging, is that he tends to dig around inside his nappy for it when he’s in bed and as a result, pees all over himself and the bed.

    So there we are, a tag-team midnight pit crew change. Mumma strips him down and changes his Cookie Monster jammies on the change table, while I strip down and reassemble the cot. Done and dusted in under a minute. Our precision is envious. The whole thing to him occurred as a psychedelic blur of light and fleece, to which his only recollection in the morning must be, ‘how did I change pyjamas in the middle of the night?’ But even then, the flannelette cowboys on his second pyjamas have already worked up a sweat, as he’d been digging around and struck liquid gold, yet again. (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • MELMO’S VIDEO DEBUT

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Events, The Baby Years, Videos

    No Comments

    Now that Melmo is officially live and kicking, it’s time he earned his keep.

    Here’s Melmo’s 40YrOldDad Video Debut…

    Take it away, Melmo…

    Please follow and like us:
  • MELMO!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, D-scoveries, Gadgets, The Baby Years

    3 Comments

    As a kid, I spent a lot of time with my hands down my pants. Way, way down at the sock end, that is. Countless hours rummaging through my socks, deftly infusing them with life and colour that would afford me legendary status on The Muppet Show. Not so good for Mum’s purse, though, (Stop cutting up your school socks! We’re not made of money!).

    I made a few marionettes, (which is actually a puppet on a string, not Maid Marion’s natural hair colour), and I fantasised for years (in my head, not my pants), about becoming a Muppeteer. A dream that would come to fruition some 30 odd years later…sort of?

    Our little man is a huge fan of Seseme Street, with Cookie Monster and Super Grover as particular favourites. We actually met Cookie Monster in an earlier post, The Great Cookie Caper. But his all time favourite is Elmo. (more…)

    Please follow and like us:
  • FIZZLING FIREBOXES!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Events, The Baby Years

    No Comments

    They’re two, they’re four, they’re six, they’re eight, shunting prams and hauling grapes…

    The look on every parents’ face. A subtle blend of excitement, awe and what the hell have we got ourselves into? Bleary-eyes and yawns all round. Unspoken nods between Dads that said, ‘Yep, we too rose at the crack of dawn, dressed our kid in their Thomas kit, packed their Thomas backpack with all their Thomas toys and chuffed our way to Emerald just to meet…(you guessed it)…

    Thomas the Tank Engine

    But the look on Indy’s face was worth every effort to get down there and pit them face-to-face. We’d booked our tickets early (like, 1973), and so glad we did. To hear his ‘ooh-ooh-oohs’ and watch his happy dance as Thomas chuffed into view, it’s like he couldn’t believe his own little eyes. And getting to ride the train as Thomas chuffed us along was a new and exciting experience (for both of us!). I’ve never ridden a steam train before either. And I know Thomas is for kids, but seeing him there in full scale, steam chuffing, even I felt a bit star-struck (as I’m sure every other Dad was, too).

    Indy spent most of the ride with his head out the window, like a dog, enjoying the freedom of the wind in his hair (lucky him). Not so lucky for the passengers downwind from us, copping all the dog-drool. (more…)

    Please follow and like us: