6-12 MONTHS

  • BUB TOOTH TIME MACHINE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, The Baby Years, Thoughts

    5 Comments

    As a kid growing up, I was obsessed with two things. Collecting bread tags…and time travel. (Uh…forget I mentioned the first thing)…

    Wide-eyed and tousled hair (yes, I did have hair once and I assure you, it was quite tousled), I disappeared into TV shows like Time Tunnel, Doctor Who, Quantum Leap, Sliders, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, Star Trek, Planet of the Apes, Ready Steady Cook (again, forget that last one). I built my own play TARDIS in the backyard and fantasised about travelling through time and space.

    Then came the movies; The Time Machine, The Philidelphia Experiment, Timecop, Time Bandits, Terminator and Terminator 2, DejaVu, Austin Powers, The Time Traveller’s Wife, Hot Tub Time Machine and of course Back to the Future, just to name a few. All fuel for the Mr.Fusion that is, the Delorean of my mind, flitting backwards and forwards in time and space trying to figure out the hows and the whys. (more…)

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  • SPREADING MY SEED

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, D-scoveries, Events

    7 Comments

    Well, today was probably the manliest Dad-thing I’ve managed to accomplish since the creation of my son. And coincidentally, both things involved the spreading of seed.

    For months now, the lawn in our backyard has been dying a slow and agonising death, much like the Hollywood career of Lindsay Lohan. But unlike “Lilo”, there’s a pretty good chance of recovery if I’ve done my homework, properly.

    After spending the day gittin’ down’n dirty with ma hoes (yo), I got all up in my backyard’s face, woz all over dat sh*t and got to the biznez of whipin’ that lawnz ass, foshizzel. (more…)

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  • THE NOTSO-FAST WEEKEND GETAWAY

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years

    1 Comment

    Easter is synonymous for many things. Eggs, chocolate, rabbits, men with beards, hot cross buns, walking zombies and of course…traffic.

    So, with that in mind, we decided to get a head start on the weekend and leave for Oma & Opa’s (a marathon 4.5hr drive interstate), on Thursday afternoon. That way, we hoped to avoid hirsute men of all descriptions and while Mumma packed the bags, I packed the car.

    Cramming the last of the contents of a small European nation into our matchbox sized sedan (does he really need more than 1200 changes of clothes?) The “eye-roll” suggests, “yes”, the scowl suggests, “just keep packing and shut the hell up”. (more…)

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  • STAND AND DELIVER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events, The Baby Years

    4 Comments

    Brutally hard at work in my office (see: trolling through Facebook), my heart leapt to my throat when my lovely wife sent out a scream from the living room…

    “Quick, to the batmobile…er, baby’s room!”

    Batteries to power, turbines to speed, paternal instincts kicked into high gear! Nadia Comaneci’d it over my office chair, nabbed a cricket bat mid-flight, kicked the door open, wide-eyed and alert like Shaun of the Dead, ready to wail the willow over any would-be zombie assailant within 3 miles of my son.

    Fully expecting our little bloke to be choking, something fallen on him, wrapped in a cord or going Mano-a-Mano with a giant lizard creature from the Gorn Hegemony (see: Star Trek: Kirk VS Gorn), preparing my best Charlton Heston impression…

    “Get your filthy paws off him, you damn dirty ape!” (more…)

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  • WORKING OUT “INDY-GYM”

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events, The Baby Years

    2 Comments

    Space: the final frontier (how apparent that we’re quickly running out of it). These are the voyages of the commando crawling, Indy-prise. His 8 month mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations, to boldly go where no man has gone before…

    Gymbaroo!!

    (Not to be confused with the Boy Scout’s gigantic week long Jamboree, nor a 3 day festival of Jim Carrey and Jim Belushi films, Jimbaroo – and if there is such a thing…god help us all).

    It is in fact, the biggest playmat exercise adventure experience (the size of a basketball court), that Indy has ever seen AND…a heralded saviour and answer to my prayers when wondering how many times can our little bloke circle the couch on his belly, play with the same plastic blocks day after day, figure out my tax receipts and change the oil in my car…all without getting bored? (more…)

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  • SYNCING OF YOU

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Body Functions, Daipers, The Baby Years

    2 Comments

    I’ve heard that when women spend a lot of time living together that their cycles start to sync, but I never thought the same thing of men.

    Until today.

    My boy and I are spending so much time together that I suddenly realised, my god…

    We’re on the same cycle!

    We sleep, we eat…(and poop)…all on the same cycle. Put it down to routine, male bonding or effective time management, but there in lies the dilemma of needing desperately to go at the exact same time you’re changing your son’s nappy. It’s either you or me kid…one of us has to go (though, technically both of us).

    So, what’s a dad to do? (more…)

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  • CREEPY CRAWLER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events, The Baby Years

    1 Comment

    Well…first it was Jesus, then it was DYNAMO (the English magician, not the washing powder).

    Now…it’s my son’s turn, to…

    “Walk on Water!”

    Okay, if you wanna get technical (and I know that you do), he can’t actually “walk”, yet.

    BUT…

    He can “commando crawl”.

    And better yet, he CAN do it…“ON” water.

    Making him, the first person in recorded history, to EVER… (more…)

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  • JUST ADD WATER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events, The Baby Years

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    Found a great recipe today.

    Take one 7 month old baby boy…

    And just add water!

    Indy’s first swimming lessons.

    And boy, he takes to water like Justin Bieber takes to hair products…

    “Let me at ’em, LET ME AT ‘EM!”

    The way he was windmilling his little arms with excitement, he could have powered through the water like a little motor boat, or taken out 10 guys at once in a boxing title fight.

    His confidence in the water is like Billy Crystal, on stage. Singing, dancing and entertaining as hell.

    It’s like he used to live the first 9 months of his life in a liquid environment…(or something?) (more…)

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  • HE SLIMED ME…

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Dad Mishaps, Events, The Baby Years

    8 Comments

    If you’re a fan of the movie, Ghostbusters, then you will no doubt remember the scene when Egon and Ray stumble upon Peter Venkman, writhing on the floor in a glistening wet pool of ectoplasm following his first encounter with a real ghost, and uttered those inimitable and prophetic words…

    “He slimed me…”

    I say, prophetic, because fast forward to today, my official first day as Stay-At-Home Dad after Mumma returned to work today, and as I just finished giving my son his mid-morning bottle of “Chard-o-mamma”, I found myself uttering that exact same phrase. A few mls short of finishing off the bottle, he turned his face away in the same way you can’t look at the screen whenever Tori Spelling comes on the TV. I asked him if he needed to burp, and as I placed him upright in my lap, it sounded like he’d just released The Kraken. (more…)

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  • WHATCHOO TALKIN’ ‘BOUT, WILLIS?

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 6-12 months, Events, The Baby Years

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    Ever had the desire to do something, “just because you can?”

    This morning we woke up and the tiny voice that talks to me inside my head, was actually outside my head, and we both did a double-take when we realised…

    Holy cow, our son can talk!

    It’s as if Indy suddenly woke up today and decided to speak, “just because he can”.

    And his first words of choice…

    DA-DA!

    YESSSSSS!! (Hi-fives all round…cigars anyone?)

    Next on the agenda of his Parliamentary Address… (more…)

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