AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, 3-5 years, Events

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    A Minecraft Party Please

    Unsure whether I fell asleep in a Delorean or put my clock ahead too far during daylight savings. The tiny Marge Simpson-shaped baby I held in my arms and watched open his eyes for the very first time in his new-born life, suddenly aged 5 years before my very own eyes. How can this be? It’s a joke, right? I have to be dreaming. After all, petrol is under $1.15, Gogglebox has been renewed for another season AND…Donald Trump is President of Dementia.

    But sure enough, it’s ALL true. Our boy is five.

    Hard to believe that only yesterday our toes were dipped in the relaxing serenity of a Balinese swimming pool and today, we’re completely submerged in the calamity of Lightning McQueen, YouTube Kids and Minecraft. None of which I had ever heard of or had any inkling about until our boy educated us on such matters. Now, it’s all a part of our every day lives, like Donald Trump memesĀ or taking a dump.

    So, it was no surprise when Indy told us he wanted to have a Minecraft Lego themed party for his 5th birthday. What was a surprise to us, is that he really actually meant it. So, it was off to the crafting-table blackboard to nut our heads together and plan a fun-filled occasion, for just such an occasion. Just one question first… (more…)

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    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 3-5 years, 3-5 years, Toddler Years


    Seeing our kids grow into little beings, I think back to the days when we couldn’t wait for them to start talking and now that those days have arrived, I wish to god for some SILENCE.

    The days of sleeping in are as extinct as the dinosaurs. Even when we take it in turns to crawl out and sprawl one-eyed on the couch, drawing the little critters toward us and away from the bedroom like a human mozzie-zapper, so the other one can get 10 seconds of extra sleep. The screaming, yelling, laughing and crying penetrates the walls and drills into your semi-conscious brain like an incessant woodpecker. And then there’s the noise from the kids.

    But now that they’ve found their voices, the questions are coming thick and fast. Not since the advent of TV game show Sale of the Century, has anyone been drilled incessantly with questions by a pint-sized ‘Tony Barber’ (or is that, actual size?). I always knew this day was coming and I felt I was more than ready for it, but I completely underestimated the stamina of a 3 year old’s ability to ask the same question over and over before I went insane.

    The FBI and KGB have nothing on a 3 year old and the Chinese water torture is but a drop in the tsunami of banal questioning that’s washed over us on a daily basis.

    I’m a product of the X-generation but this kid is definitely… (more…)

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