1ST TRIMESTER

  • RESULTS ARE IN…

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Events, In the Womb, Thoughts, Ultrasound

    16 Comments

    Indy had just gone down for a nap and I was in the loo when I heard it. Not that, THAT…the shrill of Mumma’s ringtone. By the time I made it to the living room, my heart was already in my mouth, which is probably why I couldn’t breathe. Unless it had something to do with a certain There’s Something About Mary ‘frank’n’beans’ moment I had unwittingly recreated in my haste to zip up and hear the news.

    Through wincing eyes and bated breath, I was playing catchup. Having already missed part of the conversation, I had to extrapolate what I thought was being relayed down the phone by piecing together Mumma’s subtle facial expressions, body mannerisms and pupil dilations as she listened intently. Like trying to figure out what’s happening on LOST, when you’ve already missed the first two seasons, there’s just no way.

    Even if she did say something, there’s no way I could have heard it over the pounding of the pulse between my ears, like the guy swinging his hammer at the Rank Arena gong. And suddenly, all at once, there was a resounding SILENCE as she hung up the phone. The results are in… (more…)

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  • SHAPESHIFTER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions, Thoughts, Tips

    2 Comments

    I feel just like Carol-Anne in Poltergeist, sitting in front of the tv…

    “They’re here…”

    Week 14 and…”Baby got back!” (It also has arms, legs, fingers, toes, etc).

    Thankfully, my family has arrived safe and sound and we’re all back together again. Now I get to bare my claws and stand over them both, like a defensive tiger fends for it’s cubs, “Heeeeeeeche!”

    It was a little weird at first, to be back in each other’s arms after 4 weeks. I felt like a teenager on prom night…all goofy and nervous (and wondering what my date looks like naked?)

    And I also discovered that at Week 14, my wife has developed some rather unique talents…

    My wife has become…

    …a Shapeshifter (cool) 🙂 (more…)

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  • BOOMERANGS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Thoughts

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    It feels like ages since we saw each other in the flesh (that’s how it all started in the first place), but now I am one eager day away from having my family back in my loving arms…(and in our empty villa, for that matter).

    The rules of engagement surrounding our Skype chats have been adhered to, so I have no idea if she’s showing and/or how much.

    It’s like waiting to unwrap a Christmas present!

    but I probably shouldn’t shake and rattle it first?

    It feels kind of weird, like it’s not really happening.  Probably because there’s literally an ocean between us, and only a thin membrane between them. I feel slightly detached from the whole experience. Almost like a Clayton’s Dad.

    But I am so super excited at having them back, so I can actually feel like I’m a part of it.

    (Seems only fair, after all…it is also a part of me). (more…)

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  • ANNND….SAFE!!

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Ultrasound

    2 Comments

    It feels like my batter just slid into home plate!

    (Wow, that didn’t even remotely, sound quite right???)

    What I mean is, we’ve just scored a touchdown, at the elusive 12 Week mark!

    (Another mixed sporting metaphor?)

    My point is

    “We made it!!!”

    (Or rather…our little “tenant” made it)

    All the tests confirm (at least, at this point), that there is indeed, a healthy teeny-tiny Adventurer Extraordinaire, in our mids.

    (Me-lady’s “mids” to be precise).

    Well, it’s not hard to see this baby was conceived in Bali…how relaxed is that?? Kickin’ back, relaxing, catching some rays…Waiter, my mocktail please (non-alcoholic, of course). (more…)

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  • CIRCLE OF LIFE

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions, In the Womb

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    So, we’re one week off the elusive 12 week mark, sitting pretty at Week 11.

    The bad news for the little lady…she “stars” again in her own dreadful sequel of…

    Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sicks!

    She at least had one week of reprieve from driving the white porcelain bus, but no escape for her I’m afraid. Like Al Pacino in the Godfather Part III

    “Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.”

    But that can only mean…things are still on track!

    And knowing what’s happening in Inner Space, it’s no wonder she’s feeling sick. At 11 weeks, our baby starts drinking the amniotic fluid and it’s kidneys start to work, filtering it into the bladder which empties itself back out into the amniotic fluid, and thus…the circle of life continues. (more…)

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  • WHERE FOR ART THOU?

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Thoughts

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    So, we’re at the 10 week mark, and I’m feeling a sense of distance between us…

    About 3231 miles…to be exact!

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder…but totally worries the shit, out of the mind!

    Dorothy is back to Oz (for 4 weeks), while I man the fort in Bali, and move all our stuff into another villa in Seminyak.

    Our only communication is through dodgy video Skype chats, with strict instructions to only let me see her…

    From the “boobs”, up!…No sneak belly peeks, ’til her return.

    Who am I to complain at that suggestion? (Okay…it was my suggestion). (more…)

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  • OH, WO-ES HER

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Body Functions

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    I never realised MORNING SICKNESS, would be a bit like…

    The opening beach scene from…Saving Private Ryan!

    It’s violent, gruesome, incessant and…I’m sure I heard a lung come up, (at least once).

    And just as it was, as a spectator to the atrocities on the beach from the safety of my cinema seat, I find myself squelching and squirming at the atrocities happening in our bathroom…and feeling equally as powerless to do anything to help my poor, lovely, Private Ryan.

    I wish there was something I could do to help. I feel as useless as a no-armed man in a frisbee throwing contest.

    That sweaty little face with the morky expression, the reddened cheeks of total exhaustion, the complete and utter depletion of a body, fully spent(I can’t believe I look that bad, when all I’m doing is watching).

    But remember…the “no touching” rule, is still in effect! (more…)

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  • TIP #1 – KEEP HER HAPPY

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Tips

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    So, being a first time dad at 40, I’ve made an interesting discovery, very early on.

    Keep in mind, your lady is going through some changes. Physically, emotionally…mentally.

    Assume…NOTHING.

    Embrace…CHANGE.

    Change of mood, change of mind, change of personality…and it can all happen in an instant!

    #1 tip for keeping your lady happy – LOVE HER

    She needs your love. She wants your love and the best way to support her through those changes…is to love her

    BUT…

    Don’t touch me!

    Don’t breathe on me!

    Don’t move around me…please! (more…)

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  • ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN…

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Ultrasound

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    Another giant leap, for mankind…or womankind, (still too early to tell yet).

    And no…that’s no crater on the moon, that’s a bubba. Holy cow, it’s really in there!

    That just makes it all so much more “real”. We could even see the heartbeat, beating like a little flicky thing, that…flicks…more often than a couch potato channel surfing. (more…)

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  • FOUR LITTLE WORDS

    AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1st Trimester, Thoughts

    4 Comments

    It’s funny how four little words can suddenly turn you’re life upside down…

    “You’re f*#king kidding me?”

    Okay, that was probably my four words…

    “We’re having a baby!”

    – that’s hers.

    Now, that may not be big news for some people, but considering we’ve been doing IVF for three years; 9 viable embryos (none of which worked out), 2 miscarriages and a witch doctor’s mojo later and still “no dice”…not only had we resigned ourselves to the fact it was never gonna happen, but, we’d already made future plans with “just the two of us…la-de-la-de-da-de-da, the two of us”.

    Now all that’s out the window at the grand “middle” age…of 40!

    And it is nothing short of an absolute MIRACLE!

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