FILL IN THE BLANKS
If you were alive in the late 70’s, you’d surely remember one of Australia’s greatest game shows, Blankety Blanks, hosted by the late great, Graham Kennedy. It was Channel 10’s ratings-baby and had us glued to the set in stitches, weeknights at 7pm, to witness the madcap, innuendo-ridden hilarity that always ended with a cheeky ‘Dick’ joke between Gra-Gra and Ugly Dave Gray.
And for 1 in 20 men in Australia with fertility issues, shooting ‘Blankety Blanks’ is a major concern that can stand in the way of feeling like a real man and making your very own baby. And much like the amount of cigars Ugly Dave Gray consumed during the taping of the show, that’s a pretty high number.
A common misconception with couples having difficulties getting pregnant, is that the issue is generally “women’s business”. Age is the most predominant issue and asking a woman hers, may result in a swift kick to the testes causing further fertility issues and the cycle continues. However, the next most common cause of fertility issues after a woman’s age, are male factor issues (about 40% of the time). Probably related to asking a woman’s age.
But what can you do about it? (Well, for starters stop asking her age!). You can exercise regularly, lay off the booze (or a smaller glass, perhaps), give up the smokes and dare I say it…cut back the caffeine. (Eeek! About half the blokes reading this just felt their testicles retract).
But on a positive note, you’ll be fitter, firmer and won’t smell like Ugly Dave Gray in the bedroom, hence your appeal will be greatly enhanced (rowr-rowr). Plus, as sperm is completely replaced every 3 months, these simple lifestyle changes can be quite effective.
However, if lifestyle changes aren’t enough to help fill in those ‘blanks’, men can get answers quicker than asking teenagers to Tweet who they think is “totes more amazeballs, Sheldon from Big Bang Theory or Miley Cyrus”, through a semen analysis. While that might seem a bit awkward, most fertility clinics let you collect the sample at home. Just don’t mix up which cup is for decaffeinated tea and which is for…erm, well….blank.
It’s better to know than to not know and getting answers can really take the pressure off you and your relationship. And a clear ratings winner for blokes with fertility issues is Queensland Fertility Group.
So, if you have any concerns about your own fertility issues, why not do what Dick did, and pop into your nearest QFG clinic.
What a clever Dick.