THE SEQUEL: HIGHS AND LOWS

  • AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 0-6 months, D-scoveries, Events, In the Womb, The Baby Years, Thoughts, Ultrasound

    14 Comments

    Our journey into parenthood began a couple years ago with Four Little Words, “You’re f*#ng kidding me!” Now that we’re writing the sequel, there were actually zero words. Just shock. Open-mouthed, jaw dropping shock…for about a day and a half!

    The day before my birthday Mumma approached me on the couch and said, “Hold your hands out…”. Slightly confused and a little disappointed that whatever was behind her back was neither the size nor shape of golf clubs, when she placed the stick with two lines in my hand…my mind got carted for a six!

    Next thing I remember, it was Wednesday.

    Wow, for those who don’t know our story, we tried for 10 years to get pregnant. Endured 9 failed attempts of IVF, quite a few miscarriages and even a visit to a witch doctor but still no dice. We both turned 40 and decided it wasn’t to be, so we decided to have holidays instead of kids. We packed up and moved to Bali for 5 months and fell pregnant naturally with our miracle boy, Indy Wayan, within the first month of living there. Now, he’s just turned 22 months old and is the joy of our lives.

    Never ever in our wildest dreams did we ever expect to ever get pregnant again. EVER! It’s one of those things we always said, “if it happens, it happens”, and we always thought it would be lovely to have another kid, but we never truly actually believed it would (or even could), ever actually really happen. So yes, I was gobsmacked and totally paralysed internally.

    Can we really do this? Is it real? Indy was such a great baby, what if this one’s the devil or worse, barracks for Collingwood? What if it’s a girl? I know nothing about girls, I’m 43 years old now and still don’t understand women fully. What if it’s another boy? I love Indy so much, can I actually even love another baby? I’m considering going back to uni in July. Can we even afford another baby? How will Mumma cope? How will I cope? How will Indy cope?

    No wonder I couldn’t speak for a day and a half, my mind was spewing out so many concerns, challenges and scenarios that I couldn’t get a word in edge-wise anyway. So, I played my cards close to my chest and pretended to be coolly aloof about the whole thing…until today, when we had our 12 week scan.

    Seeing the little bub flouncing about on a TV monitor through squinted eyes across a room (my fault for not wearing my glasses), I found myself as detached as I would be watching an episode of Master Chef, but when the ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom of the heartbeat thundered through the speakers, an audible squeak leapt from my throat. Which caught Mumma slightly off guard, and signalled in me the gravity of it all and suddenly seemed…very real.

    And I got a little teary. Tears of joy, elation, love and expectation. I felt the bud of a seed of new love inside me that I never expected to feel and a newer, deeper appreciation and admiration for Mumma…layed out on a sheet of butchers paper like a rack of lamb, about to be wrapped and ready to go. We looked at each other and our mind’s melded the same synchronised thought…‘Can we take this butchers paper home for Indy to draw on?’

    The scan indicated that everything seems normal. Hallelujah! We just needed to wait on the blood work and they’d ring through the results. That’s when the rug got pulled out from under us. Because of our elevated maturation (we’re in our 40’s), we’re in the ‘high risk category’ with only a one in 38 chance of things working out.

    Gutted.

    But another test tomorrow will give us a clearer indication of the likelihood of things working out or not.

    It’s gonna be a long night…so hard to sleep when your mind is screaming at you.

    The Sequel at 12 Weeks

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COMMENTS

14 Responses to The Sequel: Highs and Lows

  • Kirby Channells wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:28 // Reply

    So so happy for you guys! Incredible! This has had me bawling tears of joy! Everything will work out! Love you all!
    Kirby, Daniel and Piper. Xoxoxoxoxox

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:47 // Reply

      Thanks for the support Kirbs, keeping our fingers crossed. And so happy for you and Daniel to be experiencing the joy that Piper has brought into your home, too. Love and hugs, cuz xoxo

  • lisamchugh wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:41 // Reply

    That’s so awesome!! Congratulations!!
    Number 5 here came with similar risks, too. I had the ‘over 40’ age factor & scans showed a thick nuchal fold leaving me with what the dr suggested was a 1 in 17 chance of having a baby with Down Syndrome or early miscarriage. Here she is in all her cantankerous perfection at 2. I was told I wouldn’t have any children to having 5. I’m sure they throw these statistics at us oldies to shake us up. It will all be good!!! So happy for the 3 of you!!

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:52 // Reply

      Well, if this all works out I think we’ll draw the line at 2. Lord knows I wouldn’t want to be a 50yrOldDad looking after a toddler. Thanks for sharing your own experience, it gives a little more hope that things will go in our favour. That said, I’ll still keep my cards tightly covered until the results come in before I start to yell CANASTA!

  • Milly wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:50 // Reply

    Sending every possible ounce of love and good beautiful positive vibes around. Big love to you 3. Love M & Q xxx

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:56 // Reply

      Aww, thank you Millie and Queenie. Every ounce is greatly received, snuggled into and squeezed tightly between Mumma, Indy and me xx

  • Sarah wrote on May 9, 2014 at 8:57 // Reply

    What a wonderful story! As for your horrifyingly-advanced age, mother nature apparently has overruled the medical establishment. Hate it when that happens. Blessings on your growing family!

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 9:02 // Reply

      Funnily enough, I feel like I’m ageing another 10 years just waiting for the outcome. Will gladly accept the blessings though, thanks Sarah.

  • Rory wrote on May 9, 2014 at 11:34 // Reply

    Firstly every single finger and toe crossed that Little bubs makes it. Secondly you crack me up. Thirdly I love your writing!

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 11:53 // Reply

      Firstly, thanks man. I appreciate the support. Secondly, like a chocolate egg on Easter morning, yo! Thirdly, I can’t take all the credit, I just transcribe what my brain yells at me. And fourthly (because I like to give back more than I receive)…I love your writing too, Rory. Let’s man-hug-it-out dude, Cheers 😉

  • majoradventures wrote on May 9, 2014 at 6:46 // Reply

    We are so pleased to hear your baby news…….this will be life changing again…..now there is two……will need a bigger place, a bigger car, a bigger bank balance…..but it will also be the best time of your lives….enjoy your growing family…Love Hugs and Kisses Linda and Phil

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 9, 2014 at 6:58 // Reply

      A pretty big surprise, but one that is truly most welcome. Thanks Linda and Phil xx

  • Reservoir Dad (@ReservoirDad) wrote on May 10, 2014 at 6:03 // Reply

    Massive congrats and try to take each step with joy. All pregnancies carry risk. Looking forward to (hopefully) regular updates!

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on May 10, 2014 at 6:13 // Reply

      Hey, thanks RD. The prospect is building excitement and joy every moment I think about it, which is…ALL THE TIME! Thanks for the support and will ‘joyously’ keep everyone updated. Cheers, mate.

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