When I was a kid, video tapes were all the rage. Especially those in the Horror genre. At least, it was for a thirteen year old teenager in the 80’s. By today’s standards, they’re probably more comedies than horror films. But you have to remember, a chainsaw cutting through a rubber arm or stop-motion skeletons with swords, was considered “cutting edge” special effects. (Pun definitely intended) 😉
None were more memorable for me, than the unforgettable movie monsters, such as The Thing, Pin-Head from Hellraiser, the deformed evil Siamese twin from Basket Case and of course, Freddy Kruger. But there is another legendary movie monster from my past, that has recently returned to haunt me…
If you’re unfamiliar, The Blob was a creature from outer space that resembled a giant red booger that slimed it’s way through town, growing and consuming every living creature until it eventually covered everything in sight. And this past couple weeks, we’ve faced the unfortunate experience of battling this creature’s yellowy-greenish cousin, that has terrorized us (not from outer space), but from within…deep inner space. Specifically…
For near on two weeks now, we’ve been up to our armpits in Kleenex tissues. Our main defence against this dreaded slimy foe. And The Blob has been throwing everything at us in his artillery. Snot bubbles, rapid fire raspberry assaults, unprovoked surprise snot eruptions, you name it, we’ve been covered in it. Made worse by the fact Indy has somehow managed to teach himself to blow his nose…but never when there’s a tissue in front of it!
The countless times this week we’ve seen him come crying to us or seen him in the rear view mirror with an avalanche of snot cascading down his face, resembling the octopus-faced pirate Captain from Pirates of The Caribbean. Or when the Toad from X-men spits his slimy mask that almost suffocates Jean Grey. It’s as though he’s one tenth boy, nine parts mucus.
And although the small town in rural Pennsylvania had the US Airforce to help battle against The Blob (eventually freezing it and transporting it to The Arctic), our best defence has been the liberal use of Vicks Baby Balsam rub on the chest, nose and feet, a saline nose spray and the BIG GUNS…the ever reliable “snocker”, (our family nickname for the “nose sucker”).
Hopefully, there’s a snotty end in sight before too long as I’ve come to discover that holding a tissue full of goopy toddler snot…really blows!