IT’S SNOT ME, IT’S YOU

  • AUTHOR: // CATEGORY: 1-2 years, Body Functions, D-scoveries, The Baby Years, Uncategorized

    4 Comments

    When I was a kid, video tapes were all the rage. Especially those in the Horror genre. At least, it was for a thirteen year old teenager in the 80’s. By today’s standards, they’re probably more comedies than horror films. But you have to remember, a chainsaw cutting through a rubber arm or stop-motion skeletons with swords, was considered “cutting edge” special effects. (Pun definitely intended) 😉

    None were more memorable for me, than the unforgettable movie monsters, such as The Thing, Pin-Head from Hellraiser, the deformed evil Siamese twin from Basket Case and of course, Freddy Kruger. But there is another legendary movie monster from my past, that has recently returned to haunt me…

    THE BLOB

    If you’re unfamiliar, The Blob was a creature from outer space that resembled a giant red booger that slimed it’s way through town, growing and consuming every living creature until it eventually covered everything in sight. And this past couple weeks, we’ve faced the unfortunate experience of battling this creature’s yellowy-greenish cousin, that has terrorized us (not from outer space), but from within…deep inner space. Specifically…

    INDY’S NOSE

    For near on two weeks now, we’ve been up to our armpits in Kleenex tissues. Our main defence against this dreaded slimy foe. And The Blob has been throwing everything at us in his artillery. Snot bubbles, rapid fire raspberry assaults, unprovoked surprise snot eruptions, you name it, we’ve been covered in it. Made worse by the fact Indy has somehow managed to teach himself to blow his nose…but never when there’s a tissue in front of it!

    The countless times this week we’ve seen him come crying to us or seen him in the rear view mirror with an avalanche of snot cascading down his face, resembling the octopus-faced pirate Captain from Pirates of The Caribbean. Or when the Toad from X-men spits his slimy mask that almost suffocates Jean Grey. It’s as though he’s one tenth boy, nine parts mucus.

    And although the small town in rural Pennsylvania had the US Airforce to help battle against The Blob (eventually freezing it and transporting it to The Arctic), our best defence has been the liberal use of Vicks Baby Balsam rub on the chest, nose and feet, a saline nose spray and the BIG GUNS…the ever reliable “snocker”, (our family nickname for the “nose sucker”).

    Hopefully, there’s a snotty end in sight before too long as I’ve come to discover that holding a tissue full of goopy toddler snot…really blows!

     

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COMMENTS

4 Responses to It’s SNOT Me, It’s You

  • Kassey wrote on October 21, 2013 at 7:30 // Reply

    Ha ha that’s exactly what our 15 mo did. Somehow learning how to blow and then doing it non stop on a spontaneous walk in the pram no tissues or supplies only my thumb and index finger and my jeans. Good times

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on October 21, 2013 at 7:55 // Reply

      Lucky you didn’t end up with tennis elbow, Kassey, from all the flicking. Can totally relate, had to pull the car over three times in 10 minutes to deal with his non stop snorting to stop him from spreading it everywhere with his fingers. **Shiver**

  • Mikey wrote on November 26, 2013 at 12:25 // Reply

    I thought it was funny about the whole Toad and Jean Grey thing as a kid. Made me laugh even though she was suffocating in the scene.

    • 40YrOldDad wrote on November 26, 2013 at 1:07 // Reply

      I guess it’s the whole getting spat in the face by a frog thing that’s always much funnier when it happens to someone else! Unless of course, that someone else is your kid. Then it’s (to quote another superhero movie)…Clobbering Time!

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